Musicians

[Verse 1] Well, I tried to find more musicians To help me with this Cause apparently people like to watch musicians But all I could find Were carrots and sticks See, I'm developing a fear of checking my damned emails So, I just check the fields [Verse 2] But when that failed I said I'd get a good haircut So I'd be more interesting For you to look at But, my hairdresser Well, he's partially deaf, and partially dead, and totally uninterested in fashion Although, he has reinvented Communism all by himself And hе sent me to sleep With his garbled Das Kapital [Verse 3] And whеn I awoke Well, I had a beehive I gave him twelve quid and a small family of woodlice in a swan matchbox for a tip He told me to get out To renounce my religion, and get out [Verse 4] And then later, when I next saw him Well, he was crying down The King's Head He had his head in his hands His scissors were all bent So I asked him if he'd like to play guitar For The Cool Greenhouse's upcoming tour But he just laughed And laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed [Verse 5] Up next, I saw a kid While he was kicking strangers in the shins In a rhythmical way Like some sort of gabber officianado And he agreed to play the drums for me If I bought him a bottle of Absolut vodka and a ten pack of Marlboro Reds So, that's what I did And then I never saw him ever again [Outro] Oh, and two pink grannys on a bench over the way Just shook their heads Hey, hey, hey, hey Ho, ho, ho, ho Hey, hey, hey, hey Ho, ho, ho, ho