All I Ever Am

I think too much of all that's gone Of how it was before my thoughts Obsessed with choices made for sure In ignorance of history And consequence as more and more I misremember hopelessly The way love turned out every time Was never quite enough I lose all my life like this Reflecting time and memories And all for fear of what I'll find If I just stop and empty out my mind Of all the ghosts and all the dreams All I hold to in belief That all I ever am Is somehow never quite all I am now I think too much of all to come Of how it will be after I give up My weary dance with age And resignation moves me slow Toward a dark and empty stage Where I can sing the world I know The way love turns out every time Will never be enough I waste all my world like this Intending time and memories And all for fear of what I'll find If I just stop and empty out my mind Of all the ghosts and all the dreams All I hold to in belief That all I ever am Is somehow never quite all I am now And all for fear of what I'll find If I just stop