If Stuart Could Talk

I got a little friend he's with me to the end What does he say I ask him for opinions and political decisions Each and every day I know that it's a dream dirty and obscene anyway If stuart could talk what would he say If stuart could talk what would he say If stuart could talk what would he say What would he say if stuey could talk to me Whenever i'm alone i'm really not alone He's always there When i am going to falter and i'm standing at the alter And there's not a prayer I know it's up to him if i ever sin anyway What would he say what would he say "yes my name is stuart and i assure you i can speak And lately i find myself astounded At the sort of company you keep Something further i must mention Of this fact i cannot understand Is your insatiable attention at annoying me with your hand And in closing may i offer this point must be succint My purpose is for procreation And not facilitating in your sin"