Back Porch

[Intro] (Woo!) [Verse 1] Happy with no teeth, happy here in hibernation Slurpin' on a peach, starin' at the situation Kitty at my foot, meowin' out a conversation Rockin' back 'n' forth; that's my only destination [Chorus] Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that [Post-Chorus] Meeeeeeeeeow Wow, wow, wow [Verse 2] Got a two-string on my lap, total subsonic vacation Got chicken on the drums, poundin' out a perfect prescription Got twenty little worms all plug into amplification Got fifteen hundred bass drum luggin', bug-eyed monkeys all arrivin' at the station [Chorus] I'm an old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that [Post-Chorus] Me, me, meeeeeow Whoa, whoa, whoa [Bridge: Chris Ballew, Dave Dederer] I'm sittin' on the back porch kickin' my legs back, rockin' in my rockin' chair, just sittin' there On the little back porch, it's about to fall apart so I think I might repair it Just as I'm thinkin about repairin' it some little friends come along With some two string, one string, no string guitars (Hey, Chris, wanna jam?) And they plug them all into the back porch And they sit around playin' all their favorite songs And kickin' back feelin' real good, real fine, real full of the wine (All night long!) And everything's fine, everything's beautiful, everything's great And I just feel so good, you know, I'm seventy years old And I'm slurpin' everything through a straw I'm sittin' here on the back porch just eatin' chocolate pudding Through a straw And I heated it up on a little Sterno stove Tastes just like a warm body fluid goin' down Little players comin' 'round Pluggin' in their instruments feelin' good about themselves Singin' original songs by the original masters And I'm sittin' there on the porch Rockin' back 'n' forth in my little old chair [Chorus] But I'm an old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that [Outro] (Okay)