It Was Supposed to Be So Easy

It was supposed to be so easy... Just take back the DVD Withdraw that extra money Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea Then grab my savings and hurry So first to get the film back in time To avoid that big fine I had to do a fast hill climb But a faster decline But I flew a bit quick Arms like a lunatic Had to stop for a few ticks I started feeling sick Got to the video shop in a state But chuffed it, wouldn't be late Only when he flicked open the case I'd left the disc at my place [Chorus] Today I have achieved absolutely naught In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should have just stayed in bed like I know how So I failed on the DVD But I still had to get the money Tell mum I couldn't make tea Get the savings and then hurry Rushin' to the cash machine Still a bit mashed and lean Then of course a mandatory car Drives by and splashes me Get there the queue's outrageous Ladies taking ages My rage is blowing gauges How long's it take to validate your wages? At last my turn comes Press the 50 squid button: Insufficient funds [Chorus] So I failed on the DVD Couldn't withdraw any money But I still had to call mum Get the savings, and then hurry So to call mum so that I could tell her I can't go and that At least I remembered my phone, man I didn't know her number offhand Where's my phone, have I got it? Oh this is a crock of shit! I lost the fucking thing Wait, wait, it's in my pocket But the batteries nearly flat Got to call, quick snap Aww shit, the battery is flat [Chorus] So I've failed on the DVD Couldn't withdraw any money Or call mum about tea I'll have to get the savings and hurry But where was the money? I knew I'd left it on the Side, next to the telly This is not even funny I left it in the living room Ready to pick up as soon As I passed through On the way out to the rendezvous So the shoebox full of money Just disappearing from me That's not what I call funny +A grand don't come for free+ [Chorus] Oy, soaked to the bone in me jeans You want me to stop? I imagine my mum's weeping right now And the thousand pounds you swore That I left on the table this morn Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes, and yours And I'm a thousand pounds poorer Hundred thousand pennies, no more A thousandth of a million squid Or two monkeys Or a whole fifty scores Gone, withdrawn, from my life The money is no more for sure It was supposed to be so easy...