The Exchange

My mother lost her mother twice Once in '54, then later in life The exchange was quick and quiet The records sealed, the names made private Her search began and ended with a judge Her papers had been claimed in a freak basement flood An entire family tree An eternal privacy Underwater Underwater I am afraid to see my heroes age I am afraid of disintegration If you're not here, I cannot be here for you If you're not here, I cannot be alone Mother, father I'm underwater And I don't think you can pull me out of this There's virgin oil painted over my door And hotel soap from every city Lined up in my window Blew my per diem on an eighth of Blue Dream So I can breathe but I still can't breathe Around my mouth, brown paper bag Founding fathers on my back I'm no martyr I'm no martyr I'm just Afraid to see my heroes age I am afraid of disintegration If you're not here, I cannot be here for you If you're not here, I cannot be alone Mother, father I'm underwater Underwater Underwater I've so much that I want to sing But there's no room for toothbrushes and poetry, I Pray to Jesus Christ incessantly, I Shine my shoes for the Fat Lady, I'm still Underwater I'm underwater Underwater Underwater I am afraid to see my heroes age I am afraid of disintegration If you're not here, I cannot be here for you If you're not here, I cannot be alone Mother, father I'm underwater And I don't think you can pull me out of this I will no longer claim to know Where we go when it's time to go But when you go, will I go too? When you go, I am going too I'm underwater I'm underwater Mother, father I'm underwater I'm underwater I'm underwater Mother, father I'm underwater