The Idiot's Maze

[Verse 1] Dress me up in an automobile Drive me around like a car Take me out to the barbecue pit Smoke me like an old cigar I'll take you out to the forest fire Nail you to the moon with the beaks of doves Lay you down with the Camptown ladies Do-da-do-da, dance of love [Verse 2] Hold me down with a paperweight lifter Roll me over in the clover Take me back in an undertaker's suit Play me flat on a tuba flute I'll ride you high on a horse latitude Pump you up with a breathing tube Pick you up and remind you why I remind you of a bottleneck tie [Verse 3] Poke me a joke in the hole of my shoe Give me a taste of the Jumpin' Jack juice Swat me a mosquito Cause a rumble in the jungle when you turn him loose I'll take you away like a Chinese pizza Take you out to the old ball game Bring you back with a roundhouse punch Teach you how to say my name [Verse 4] Shake me like a microphone stand Play me like a marching band Pick me a rose from the left hand of Moses Kick out the jokers and the jams I'll dust your broom and cork you a river Milk your cows with a bubble gum machine Brush you down like a strawberry field Decorate your face with cold ice cream [Verse 5] I'll deal me a stack of rubber band pancakes Dig me a tunnel to the center of the brain Take me back to when I started crying Take me to the belly of the hurricane I'll medicate you with a dose of clam chowder Stun you with a paradoxical pun Get you in line with the crossroad dream Meditate you with a Dalai Lama hum [Outro] Hit me with your local anesthetic Tie me down with your licorice whips Spin me around on the tips of your fingers Toss me a kiss from your corn chip lips I'll turn you on with a shot of Burma Shave A sniff of Wildroot and a toke of tumbleweed I'll wake you up when they rob the bank Sneak you out the back before they start to bleed Scratch my back with a stained-glass window Teach me the art of the lullaby rhyme Sing me to sleep with a drop of dragon rum Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of wine I'll drop you like a hot shot potato Way down yonder in the purple haze Lift you up until you touch the light Deliver you from the idiot's maze