This month, Theo from King Nun runs the gauntlet of our random, stupid queries.
That depends on how hard I need to reject the question to get a full ten.
Who is your favourite member of One Direction?
I very much do not have one.
What was the first record you bought?
I think It was Get It On: The Collection which is a compilation of T. Rex (and each of their incarnations) songs. I bought it for 20th Century Boy, but I ended up loving it for the melodies in songs like Jeepster, Summer Deep, Stacey Grove, Life’s a Gas and The Travelling Tragition. I still catch myself humming parts of those songs today even though I haven’t listened back to them properly in years. Lovely lovely lovely album, very cool choice from me - 4 punk points.
Tell us a secret about yourself.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary world I lived in, and one of my favourite pastimes was trying to convince people it was real.
When’s your birthday?
27th August 1892.
How tall are you?
I’m massive to small people and tiny to massive people so I might be a bit all over the place actually, but I don’t have a ruler big enough to properly check yet.
What did you last dream about?
I was in place I kind of knew with people I kind of recognised, but I think you had to be there.
What strength Nandos sauce do you order?
The last time I was at Nandos the strongest sauce they had was really weak which was a little disappointing because it was mid-tour and we had to reach pretty deep to fund that meal. I’ll keep ordering it in the future though because I love spiciness and I’m not a fuckin' quitter.
Have you ever been thrown out of anywhere?
The last place I got thrown out of was the Windmill in Brixton a few years ago. I was below drinking age and had no fake ID so late in the night I crawled out from under the table, forgot to get someone to go buy my drink for me and found myself flung out onto the street.
What was the last thing you broke?
I tried making this guitar pedal I had do a thing, but it didn’t and decided to not do anything again.
Do you believe in aliens?
There are only so many known elements that the infinite universe is composed out of so at some point things have to start repeating, including the genetic makeup of any kind of life you could imagine. Yeah.
What’s your biggest fear?
I’m a bit of a hypochondriac and generally quite paranoid, so I think I have random and occasional across the board fears.
What’s your most treasured possession?
I’m a very sentimental person so, lots of things have to tie for that position. All of my guitars, bits and pieces I’ve been given by ex-girlfriends, a Zippo my mother bought me with a beautiful inscription on it, a battered green coat I’ve had since I was very young that’s taken me through almost everything. Lots of things.
If you could bring something extinct back to life what would it be?
HMV. And CDs as a necessity to listen to music. After school, I’d spend my late afternoons in the rock and metal section of HMV, and I want that part my childhood to be available for all the people of the world.
What compliment would you most like to receive?
Wow, you did it.
Have you got any secret tattoos?
Shh.
If you won the lottery what would you spend the ca$h on?
I was absolutely twisted drunk one night after a Superfood gig. I remember buying a lottery ticket and doing a little promise to myself that if I won I’d buy some real nice clothes and go see Superfood again in them. I won a fiver with that ticket. So I’d hold true to that drunk promise, and go ahead with that plan. After that, it’d all be the regular stuff. A house, a car, ninety million 1p sweets, that kind of thing.
Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?
A lift repairman.
What have you got in your pockets right now?
Cigarette rolling equipment, a Zippo lighter, a used tissue, my keys, a Post-it note. I think that’s it.
If you were on Mastermind, what would your specialist subject be?
Crows. I’ve been obsessed with them as a species for a long, long time. They’re beautiful, incredibly intelligent and emotional. Crows hold funerals for their dead and investigate the cause of death. That’s sick.
What would you do if you were Prime Minister for one day?
I would just go bananas on that thing.
What’s your fave TV show?
For the sake of the answer, I’m going to go ahead and pretend Netflix shows are TV shows. I love this show called Love by Judd Apatow. It’s really simple in premise; it follows two Americans as they go living out the different stages of a relationship with each other. But the way it’s written and the tiny little character moments they give the leads in between arguments or awkward moments just broke my heart. It’s uncomfortable and familiar and sad and funny and happy as anything. I love it.
Have you ever written a fan letter?
Negative.
Why are you like this?
Heck, I’m just giving it a good go over here.
How punk are you out of ten?
That depends on how hard I need to reject the question to get a full ten.
Who is your favourite member of One Direction?
I very much do not have one.
What was the first record you bought?
I think It was Get It On: The Collection which is a compilation of T. Rex (and each of their incarnations) songs. I bought it for 20th Century Boy, but I ended up loving it for the melodies in songs like Jeepster, Summer Deep, Stacey Grove, Life’s a Gas and The Travelling Tragition. I still catch myself humming parts of those songs today even though I haven’t listened back to them properly in years. Lovely lovely lovely album, very cool choice from me - 4 punk points.
Tell us a secret about yourself.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary world I lived in, and one of my favourite pastimes was trying to convince people it was real.
When’s your birthday?
27th August 1892.
How tall are you?
I’m massive to small people and tiny to massive people so I might be a bit all over the place actually, but I don’t have a ruler big enough to properly check yet.
What did you last dream about?
I was in place I kind of knew with people I kind of recognised, but I think you had to be there.
What strength Nandos sauce do you order?
The last time I was at Nandos the strongest sauce they had was really weak which was a little disappointing because it was mid-tour and we had to reach pretty deep to fund that meal. I’ll keep ordering it in the future though because I love spiciness and I’m not a fuckin' quitter.
Have you ever been thrown out of anywhere?
The last place I got thrown out of was the Windmill in Brixton a few years ago. I was below drinking age and had no fake ID so late in the night I crawled out from under the table, forgot to get someone to go buy my drink for me and found myself flung out onto the street.
What was the last thing you broke?
I tried making this guitar pedal I had do a thing, but it didn’t and decided to not do anything again.
Do you believe in aliens?
There are only so many known elements that the infinite universe is composed out of so at some point things have to start repeating, including the genetic makeup of any kind of life you could imagine. Yeah.
What’s your biggest fear?
I’m a bit of a hypochondriac and generally quite paranoid, so I think I have random and occasional across the board fears.
What’s your most treasured possession?
I’m a very sentimental person so, lots of things have to tie for that position. All of my guitars, bits and pieces I’ve been given by ex-girlfriends, a Zippo my mother bought me with a beautiful inscription on it, a battered green coat I’ve had since I was very young that’s taken me through almost everything. Lots of things.
If you could bring something extinct back to life what would it be?
HMV. And CDs as a necessity to listen to music. After school, I’d spend my late afternoons in the rock and metal section of HMV, and I want that part my childhood to be available for all the people of the world.
What compliment would you most like to receive?
Wow, you did it.
Have you got any secret tattoos?
Shh.
If you won the lottery what would you spend the ca$h on?
I was absolutely twisted drunk one night after a Superfood gig. I remember buying a lottery ticket and doing a little promise to myself that if I won I’d buy some real nice clothes and go see Superfood again in them. I won a fiver with that ticket. So I’d hold true to that drunk promise, and go ahead with that plan. After that, it’d all be the regular stuff. A house, a car, ninety million 1p sweets, that kind of thing.
Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?
A lift repairman.
What have you got in your pockets right now?
Cigarette rolling equipment, a Zippo lighter, a used tissue, my keys, a Post-it note. I think that’s it.
If you were on Mastermind, what would your specialist subject be?
Crows. I’ve been obsessed with them as a species for a long, long time. They’re beautiful, incredibly intelligent and emotional. Crows hold funerals for their dead and investigate the cause of death. That’s sick.
What would you do if you were Prime Minister for one day?
I would just go bananas on that thing.
What’s your fave TV show?
For the sake of the answer, I’m going to go ahead and pretend Netflix shows are TV shows. I love this show called Love by Judd Apatow. It’s really simple in premise; it follows two Americans as they go living out the different stages of a relationship with each other. But the way it’s written and the tiny little character moments they give the leads in between arguments or awkward moments just broke my heart. It’s uncomfortable and familiar and sad and funny and happy as anything. I love it.
Have you ever written a fan letter?
Negative.
Why are you like this?
Heck, I’m just giving it a good go over here.
Taken from the October issue of Dork. King Nun tour the UK from 13th November; their debut EP 'I Have Love' is out soon.
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