[commercial break]

[Intro]

—noticed, but lately I've been drifting aimlessly (*beep*)

[Skit]

[Child crying]

Kids getting on your nerves?

Are you tired of the yelling and screaming?

Wouldn't you love to get the little rascals out of your hair?

Wouldn't you rather spend your summers having beach vacations

Gettin' crazy at swingers parties in the Hamptons

(Hey baby)

Or exluding minorities from your country club?

(Get lost, darky!)

Send your kids to Camp America, where they'll have the best summer ever!

(Yaaaay!)

We have galvanized steel fences, topped with the sharpest barbed wire

At Camp America your kid will sleep on a cold concrete floor!

And if they get thirsty, there's plenty of toilet water (*flush*)