Hell's Greatest Dad (Tech Support Edition)

Looks like you could use some help

From the boss bitch of hell herself

Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp

Five star

Scuff free

Greater than great

With the punch of a pentagram

I wap-bam-boom alakazam

Usually, I charge like 10 giftie subbies

But you get the subscriber rate

Thanks dad

Who needs the busboy

Now that you've got the chef?

Michelin-tasting menu

Free a la carte

I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref

Champagne fountains

Caviar mountains

That's just to start!

Who's been here sincе day one?

Who's been faithful as a nun?

Who makes you chuckle with an old-timеy pun?

Your favorite tech support

(That's true)

I'm your guy, your day-to-day

Your chum, your steadfast hotelier

Remember when I fixed that stream today?

(I was glitched, thank you, sir!)

I'm truly honored that we built such a bond

You're like a child that I wish that I had

(Uh, what?)

I care for you, just like a daughter I spawned

(Wait a second -)

It's a little funny

You could almost call me

Daddy

They say when you're looking for assistance

It's smart to pick the path of least resistance

Others say that in your needy hour

There's no substitute for pure angelic power!

Who's covers you had once said raised you up

Sadly, there are times your first streamer is a dud

They say the family you choose is better

What a bunch of losers

Can you butt out of my song

Your song? I started this!

I'm singing it, I'll finish it!

Oh, you tacky piece of -