Heart

[Poem: Angel Haze]

Somehow the nights are always the longest

I can’t look within myself without seeing you first

I can’t open up my wounds without worsening hurt

I can’t ever get the flowers if I don’t pull them from dirt

I feel you in my sheets

See you in cracks as I get nearer to the door

Sometimes I walk alone, and I can hear you in the floor screaming, “Why’d you let me drown? Why’d you let me go?”

And I, I never have the answers

I hear your screams like tears falling from the mountains

In your eyes such a sharp, sharp pain

I can hear and feel you die, hear you calling

I hear you calling, but I can’t save you

I can’t save you

I can’t save you one more time

I can’t look you in your eyes and tell you, “Things will be alright.”

I can’t feed you any lines

Get you hooked and reel you in, just to throw you back again and watch you drown

All over again

And I’m mentally reclined in my mind

Previewing memories of the times when we almost had it

When all it took was to grasp it

When all it took was to grab it

Clench your fist so tightly around that bliss and be happy

But somehow the sands of time slipped through our fabric, and stained our existence with that of it’s own

It was running out on top of us

Slowly running out on top of us

And if you can hear me cry in this poem, disregard it

Because this is the part where my heart will harden

What do you do with a heart you can’t feel?

Who do you give it to?

How do you live with it?

I’m guilt trippin’

I’ve packed bags full of sadness

Remorse, my anger won’t let me see past it

My bloodshot eyes are so tired, I can’t seem to see straight

It was not supposed to be this way

It cannot be this way

I remember finding sun in your eyes

The stars in your smile

I could walk for miles along the concrete just staring into them

And now I play keyboards like pianos typing symphonies of misery

Instrumenting our memories

Praying that you’ll remember me

Praying that you’ll remember me when my years run out

When our cycle discontinues

When your fears run out

Praying that you’ll remember me when you move on

Praying I’m still your weakness when you grow strong

Never let your heart run out on you

Never let your heart run out on you…