Felo de Se

I left thinking that I would be back
But I never did return
If you would forgive me I'd forgive myself
But forgiveness never has these terms
The sky was as dark as the thoughts I was thinking
It was ignored by the moon
If you would believe me I'd believe myself
But believing never comes this soon

The streets made a sound only my ears could hear
I was alone with the rats and raccoons
And your memory keeping me alive
As the clouds moved away from the moon
Then silence it hit me is a way to speak clearly
A way to never say what you don't mean
But silence is useless in cases of torture
It just says God won't intervene

And this night like others is a sign for the way
That the gray air speaks for the dead
The air is as vague as the thoughts I have now
That these memories are just in your head
So I kept walking through the clouds that were lifting
To reveal what I'd thought
There was more fog behind the mist that seemed was the only
Thing keeping me from what I sought

I turned around to walk back to the place
I had left thinking I would find
Answers to the questions that I shouldn't ask
But the questions can't find a way to leave me behind