What Do You Call It?

Somewhere there's a school desk with her name etched in the top
Top corner of it
Always said we were friends but my feelings were just
A little more honest

The minute I admitted I wanted it
Was the minute I admitted I was different

But when you're confidently complicated
So broken you're unbreakable
Over-underestimating
Anything that could've been more
Optimistically jaded
A heart of glass in walls of stone
When you think you feel it but you don't really know
What do you call it?

Can't help overthinking
Every, "What if, is it a phase? Will I get over it?"
Like, "What if things change, what if I'm fake?
What if it's all just for the hell of it?"

But I'm in it, I admit it, I wanted this, ayy
I'm in it, I admit it, I'm different
(Oh, I'm different)

But when you're confidently complicated
So broken you're unbreakable
Over-underestimating
Anything that could've been more
Optimistically jaded
A heart of glass in walls of stone
When you think you feel it but you don't really know

What do you call it?
Maybe I'm scared to call it anything you call it
So I'm just calling to say, "Hey!"
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long
Don't wanna say it wrong
But if I'm being honest

I think I'm confidently complicated
So broken I'm unbreakable
I've over-underestimated
Anything that could've been more
Optimistically jaded
A heart of glass in walls of stone
I think I feel it but I don't really know
(Oh, I wanna know)
I wanna feel this but I don't really know
(Now I'm in it, I admit it, I'm different)
I'm gonna feel this, I'm ready to let go
So I'm gonna call it
What I wanna call it