Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues (Live at Carnegie Hall, New York, NY - October 1963)

[Intro]

This is called talkin' John Birch Blues

And there ain't nothing wrong with this song

[Verse 1]

Well, I was feelin' sad and kinda blue

I didn't know what I was a-gonna do

The communists was a-comin' around

They was in the air

They was on the ground

They was all over

[Verse 2]

So I run down most hurriedly

And joined up with the John Birch Society

I got me a secret membership card

Went back home to the yard

Started lookin' on the sidewalk

Under the hedges

[Verse 3]

Well, I got up in the mornin' I looked under my bed

I was lookin' every places for them gol-darned Reds

Looked behind the sink and under the floor

Looked in the glove compartment of m'car

Couldn't find any

[Verse 4]

Look behind the clothes, behind the chair

Lookin' for them Reds everywhere

Looked way up my chimney hole

Even looked deep inside my toilet bowl

They got away

[Verse 5]

I heard some footsteps by the front porch door

So I grabbed my shotgun from the floor

Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss

"Sayin' hands up you communist"

It was the mailman

He punched me out

[Verse 6]

Well, I was sittin' home an' started to sweat

I figured they was in my T.V. set

I peeked behind the picture frame

Got a shock from my feet that hit m'brain

Them reds did it

Hootin' in the television

[Verse 7]

Well, I quit my job, so I could work alone

Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes

Followed some clues from my detective bag

And discovered red stripes on the American flag

Betsy Ross

[Verse 8]

Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy

Lincoln, and Jefferson and then Roosevelt guy

To my knowledge, there's just one man

That's really and truly an American

That's George Lincoln Rockwell

I know for a fact he hates Commies

'Cause he picketed the movie "Exodus"

[Verse 9]

Well, I finally started thinkin' straight

When I run outta things to investigate

I couldn't imagine nothin' else

So now I'm home investigatin' myself

Hope I don't find out too much

Good God