HIGH/BYE

Growing up is like growing into a plastic mould you don't fit in but at the same time you're being
torn limb from limb
and you can feel the walls crushing your skin
like a vacuum being attached to a plastic bag
you're watching yourself shrink from within
And I've been so compliant
I keep lying
I been trying to
get out of this grey space between two lives but
everybody's dying
did you lie about being bi?
do you still get high?
and oh fuck the years have gone by
but you don't say hi anymore
real life is too understimulating for my generation
stopping at the shops at 1 am cause I forgot to eat again
and you guys all
went to uni and made loads of friends and did loads of drugs and I stayed at home and I got a job now I'm staring at my phone
waiting for a call
did you lie about being bi?
do you still get high?
and oh fuck the years have gone by
but you don't say hi anymore
I thought I could
see stars
out of
my window
but it turns out
that it was light
refracting out of somebody else's home onto
tiny raindrops
tiny droplets of water
trying to make the faintest impression on people
the faintest impression in an ocean
did you lie about being bi?
do you still get high?
and oh fuck the years have gone by
but you don't say hi anymore
Walking to work and there and men spitting on the floors
knocking on doors
standing outside the pub
cigarette in one hand
beer in the other
nothing ever happens here and nothing ever will
and find a will to live
it's a safe space painted with faces grey but no one ever makes it out of here alive anyway
did you lie about being bi?
do you still get high?
and oh fuck the years have gone by
but you don't say hi anymore