Too Drunk to Fuck

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers and I started up a fight

But now I am jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs, too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck
You're too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk, too drunk
Too drunk to fuck

I like your stories
I love your gun
Shooting out cop tires sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room
Wish you were dead
You bawl like the baby in Eraserhead

I'm too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It's all I need right now
Too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck
You're too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm sick soft gooey and cold
Too drunk to fuck

I'm about to drop
My head's a mess
The only salvation is I'll never see you again

You give me head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse

I'm too drunk to fuck
You're too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck

It's all I need right now, oh baby
I'm melting like an ice cream bar, oh baby
And now I got diarrhea
Too drunk to fuck

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, oh