Eighteen Weeks

Selfishness is disease

I hope it won't take me

I hope it won't break me

Like it's breaking all my friends

Any means to an end

Is it really that fucked up that I'd rather be dead

I know this will make me vulnerable

But I have to know

Did you ever care more than you showed?

When you left for eighteen weeks

Did you ever think of me?

I hope that when you crack a smile

I fill your headspace for a while

And if you ever wondered why I'm always scared

I've seen people change, they remain unaware

Like their loved ones were never there

I'm reaching out, I wish you cared

Would you dream of me?

Even when I slip into anxiety

Would you believe in me?

Even if it cost you everything

Would you dream of me?

When you sleep?

I hear you calling my name

The air on your teeth

When you speak of me

When you speak of me

When you left for eighteen weeks

Did you ever think of me?

I hope that when you crack a smile

I fill your headspace for a while

And if you ever wondered why I'm always scared

I've seen people change, they remain unaware

Like their loved ones were never there

I'm reaching out, I wish you cared

Would you dream of me?

Even when I slip into anxiety

Would you believe in me?

Even if it cost you everything

Would you dream of me?

When you sleep?

I hear you calling my name

The air on your teeth

When you speak of me

When you speak of me

It's complicated but I think I'll be fine

Because you can't turn the clock and you can't rewind

Still jaded, I missed all the signs

20/20 vision, but with you I'm blind

So hold your tongue and let me speak

When you left it left me weak

Let's find out how far I sink

Tie anchors to my feet

When you left you for eighteen weeks

Did you ever think of me?

I hope that when you crack a smile

I fill your headspace for a while

And if you ever wondered why I'm always scared

I've seen people change, they remain unaware

Like their loved ones were never there

I'm reaching out, I wish you cared