Goldwatch Blues

[Verse 1]

I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July

Personnel man he questioned me until I nearly cried

Made me fill in forms until I shook with fear

About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer

[Chorus]

Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

And if you've a son who wants a good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years

[Verse 2]

He asked me how many jobs I'd had before

He nearly had a heart attack when I answered four

For jobs of twenty years or more, this can never be

We only take on men who work on until they die

[Chorus]

Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

And if you've a son who wants a good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years

[Verse 3]

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line

This is where we bury them in quickstone and in lime

And if you come to work for us, this you must agree

That if you're going to die, please do it during tea break

[Chorus]

Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

And if you've a son who wants a good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years

[Verse 4]

This story that you've heard, you may think rather queer

But it is the truth you'll be surprised to hear

I did not want no job up on the board

I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor

[Chorus]

Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

And if you've a son who wants a good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years