Allentown

[Verse 1: Ed Helms]

Well, we're living here in Allentown

And he's driven our lives into the ground

When we woke up, we were wasted and drunk

Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk

[Verse 2: Ed Helms & Zach Galifianakis]

I was happy and my life was good

Gettin' married like a dentist should

Roastin' marshmallows on a stick

I got fucked in the ass by a girl with a dick (I do remember that!)

[Verse 3: Ed Helms]

And we're livin' here in Allentown

But they're takin' Teddy's finger now

And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my shit

And shoot Allen in the face

And shoot myself

[Outro: Ed Helms & Zach Galifianakis]

You totally butchered that song

You totally butchered my life