Watching the Detectives / My Funny Valentine (Live At Tokyo Kokusai Forum / 2002)

Nice girls not one with a defect

Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct

Red dogs under illegal legs

She looks so good that he gets down and begs

She is watching the detectives

"Ooh, he's so cute!"

She is watching the detectives

When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot

They beat him up until the teardrops start

But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

Long shot of that jumping sign

Visible shivers running down my spine

Cut the baby taking off her clothes

Close-up of the sign that says,"We never close"

You snatch a tune, you match a cigarette

She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet

I don't know how much more of this I can take

She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake

She is watching the detectives

"Ooh, he's so cute!"

She is watching the detectives

When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot

They beat him up until the teardrops start

But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

You think you're alone until you realize you're in it

Now fear is here to stay. Love is here for a visit

They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit

Someone's scratching at the window. I wonder who is it?

The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents

Who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance

Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay

It only took my little fingers to blow you away

Just like watching the detectives

Don't get cute!"

It's just like watching the detectives

I get so angry when the teardrops start

But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

Watching the detectives

It's just like watching the detectives

My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine

You make me smile with my heart

Your looks are laughable, unphotographable

But you're my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak?

When you open it to speak

Are you smart?

Don't change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay little Valentine, stay

Each day is Valentine's Day