Match of the Day

[Verse 1]

There's the Reds and there's the Greens

Super-slicks and has-beens

They're accompanied by three men dressed in black

One's a whistle, two are flags

Quite often they're the drags

Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back

[Chorus]

Yes Match of the Day's the only way

To spend your Saturday

[Verse 2]

Each side's eleven men

With numbers on their backs

But at a distance they all tend to look the same

But some own their boutiques

They clean up every week

Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!

[Chorus]

But Match of the Day's the only way

We spend our Saturday

[Post-Chorus]

And that's not all

Our mates the keepers

Slippin' and sliding in the mud

Arms as long as creepers

[Bridge]

Send him off, ref

Where are your specs, ref?

Kick you to death, ref

Oi! Are you deaf, ref?

[Verse 3]

There's a few things before we go

That I think you ought to know

Obstruction, body checking, heavy tackles

So put on your hat and scarf

Have a drink, have a larf

From the terrace you can see your men do battle

[Chorus]

Yes Match of the Day's the only way

You can spend your Saturday

[Post-Chorus]

Don't forget

The trainers with their sponges

Managers with open cheques

Liquid business lunches

[Bridge]

Send ‘im off, ref

Where are your specs, ref?

Kick you to death, ref

Oi! Are you deaf, ref?

[Outro]

Good game, ‘ey Ron?

D’you see that goal in the second half?

Oh, bit of a dirty tackle that, mate

I reckon I should’ve had a bet on it myself

We paid four hundred thousand pounds for him, you realise that?

Oh, look out, here comes a bottle

Yes, fancy a pint then?

My round