Being Haved

Yo (Jesus Crunchy, man) what happened?

The POP!

Nahmsayin I digs, nahmsayin I digs

[Verse 1: Homeboy Sandman]

I came up in Queens, had not much, more than enough

A pure-bred sort of a mutt, if that could exist

My moms/pops made livings but had limited funds

We shopped at Keyfood for lunch, and Fayva for kicks

We had wreaths, lights, mistletoe, garland and such

All the most Christmassy stuff, except for the gifts

Partied potluck, mom's ain't have a million bucks

But when I came home with a bump, she gave it a kiss

In grade school I was always at the head of the class

And was the first head in the class to get any head

Not that I condone pre-teens gettin it on

But there is much more I know now, than what I knew then

Whenever cats dissed momma I had honor to defend

When I was done throwin the fists, I'd made a new friend

Even at 9-10 wasn't bout no money to spend

The only 'dough' that I would sweat, began with 'Ninten-', ya heard?

[Hook]

When mi madre hollered "behave!"

I would always say "mommy I'm being haved"

We'd in the street getting wild everyday

What you might see on TV was Ricki Lake

When mi madre hollered "behave!"

I would always say "mommy I'm being haved"

We'd be in the street getting wild everyday

Bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay

[Verse 2]

I ran with a team of cats too square to be hoods

But we was too hard to be marks, to cool to be nerds

Did our homework but if you tried to play us for herbs

We'd quickly assert you wasn't sayin nut'n but a word

This when Hip-Hop really started making it's turn

Cats had stopped doing the Wop, for doing the Worm

But major venues still felt there was too much to lose

Security at major concerts was a major concern

Weekends, I'd be hooping from the dawn to the dusk

Don't mean to boast, but in the post I couldn't be held

My handle was type shaky but my drive to the hole

Was such a fine sight to behold that people beheld

But let me not front or fabricate a falsehood to tell

Sometimes a cat'd drop me a dime, at times I would sell

But I never made a call unless I really got fouled

And almost always hit the free throw anytime I held

Well

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

...My moms didn't do time-out

We want'd to cry she'd give us something to cry 'bout

I'd hump the mattress every time that I layed down

This years before I thought of writing this rhyme out

Grown folks would threaten putting soap into my mouth

I never seen a red cent of my allowance

But loved finding out whenever something was not allowed

Because I was down...(yeauh!)

Up until to which chicks cuttin was the topic of choice

I spent more time cuttin on friends, than cuttin from school

I never got too crazy but I'll readily admit

I used to hock loogeys from roofs and pee in the pool

Before Timbo was a brand and only a boot

I rocked gel tryina be cute, and got ridiculed

Told the same to every gang that ever tried to recruit

I don't want no trouble, homey I'm just tryina be cool (peace)

[Hook]