Seeing Negative (Dissapointment)

Well, I'm so fed up with what I'm doing here
Nothing is ever interesting
I've given up and I said as much
It probably comes in clutch
That my mouth don't shut

I don't get it, I never do
How opposites can both be true
How I'm put together but so unglued
I know what I want, but I don't have a clue

I am trying to understand
'Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need

Too cautious to let someone interfere
Won't take my hands off the steering wheel
Drained and confused
So much to choose
Everything to lose
Has my ego bruised?

Can't forget it, I never will
Cancel it with overkill
Exhausted but I can't sit still
Making me anxious, but I'm high on the thrill

I am trying to understand
'Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need

I'm desperate, swing and a miss
I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens
Because the negative is all I see

I'm so dim, but I can't drive
I'm done stuck sitting in the passenger side
Oh, where did the time go
Fast-paced but so slow?

I've been needing a change of pace
If I keep begging, then I might get a taste
Planned and accidental
Wasted potential

I am trying to understand
I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need

I'm desperate, swing and a miss
I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens
Because the negative is all I see
The negative is all I see, yeah-yeah
I'm only disappointing me