Celebration - A.R. Remix

[Hook]

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son

I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse 1]

I've got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics that say he's Money, Cash, Hoes

I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos

You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough

I'm like fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole

If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show

They don't play my hits, well I don't give a shit, so

Rap mags try and use my black ass

So advertisers can give em more cash for ads, fuckers

I don't know what you take me as

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one, hit me

[Hook]

[Verse 2]

The year is '94, in my trunk is raw

In my rearview mirror is the motherfucking law

Got two choices y'all, pull over the car or

Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor

And I ain't tryna see no highway chase with Jake

Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case

So I, pull over to the side of the road, I heard

"Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?

"Well you was doing fifty-five in a fifty-four

License and registration and step out of the car

Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"

I ain't stepping out of shit, all my paper's legit

"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"

Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back

And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that

"Aren't you sharp as a tack

You some type of lawyer or something

Somebody important or something"

Well, I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit

"Well we'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one, hit me

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

Now once upon a time, not too long ago

A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho

This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy

But a pussy having no goddamn sense, try and push me

I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord

Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform

You know the type, loud as a motorbike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

And only thing that's gon' happen is

I'm-a get to clapping and

He and his boys gonna be yapping to the Captain

And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again

Back through the system with the riff-raff again

Fiends on the floor, scratching again

Paparazzis with they cameras, snapping em

D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again

Half a mil' for bail cause I'm African

All because this fool was harassing them

Tryna play the boy like he's saccharine

But ain't nothing sweet bout how I hold my gun

I got 99 problems, being a bitch ain't one, hit me

[Hook]

[Outro]

You crazy for this one, Rick

It's your boy