Contingency Song

I moved a way
And slept with a rotten taste
He lied when he said I was worth it all
I'm afraid I only change myself
Because you're nodding to the original

And if I saw what he sees
No lover of mine
Cuts deep into a clean face
Now he's just like me
Delusional

I said I'm not in love
I said I'm not in love
I said I'm not in love
Please don't hurt me
Please don't hurt me
Please don't hurt me

Do you feel young again when you're on top of me?
I can't be taken if I give it away

I chop myself up
And shut myself out
Until my body shuts itself down

I pour the boiling water on my hand
I still feel enough to touch myself
And even then, I don't feel like doing it anymore
I shoved enough food in my mouth
And I can mutter out the words:
"I don't think I can do it anymore"