Auctioneer

There was a boy in Arkansas

Who wouldn't listen to his ma

When she told him he should go to school

He'd sneak away in the afternoon

Take a little walk then pretty soon

You'd find him at the local auction barn

He'd stand and listen carefully

Then pretty soon he began to see

How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly

He said, "Oh my, it's do or die

I've got to learn that auction cry

Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"

25 dollar bid it now, 30 dollar 30

Will you gimmie 30 make it 30

Bid it on a 30 dollar will you gimmie 30

Who'll bid a 30 dollar bid?

30 dollar bid now, 35, will you gimmie 35

Make it 35 to bid at 35

Who gonna bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

As time went on, he did his best

And all could see he didn't jest

He practiced calling bids both night and day

His pap would find him bеhind the barn

Just working up an awful storm

Tryna imitate the auctioneer

Thеn his pap said, "Son, we just can't stand

To have a mediocre man

Sellin' things at auctions using our good name

We'll send you off to auction school

And then you'll be nobody's fool

And you can take your place among the best"

35 dollar bid it now a 40 dollar 40

Will you gimmie 40 make it 40

Bidin' it on a 40 dollar will you gimmie 40

Who'll bid a 40 dollar bid?

40 dollar bid it now, 45, will you gimmie 45

Make it a 45 to bid a 45

Who would a-bid it at a 45 dollar bid?

Now from that boy who went to school

There grew a man who played it cool

He came back home a full-fledged auctioneer

Then the people came from miles around

Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound

That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer

For his fame spread out from shore to shore

He had all he could do and more

Had to buy a plane to get around

Now he's the tops in all the land

Well let's pause and give that man a hand

He's the best [?] auctioneer

45 dollar bid it now a 50 dollar 50

Will you gimmie 50 make it 50

Bidin' it on a 50 dollar will you gimmie 50

Who'll bid a 50 dollar bid?

50 dollar bid it now, 55, will you gimmie 55

Make it a 55 to bid at 55

Sold that hog for a 50 dollar bill