Hiatus

[Verse: Joe Budden]

Two years, waits up, still sleep, wake-up

Girl gone, break-up, mind right, cake up

Friends came, friends left

Bullshit is endless, been next

Hip-Hop, really not impressed

Maybe just my love died

Sober, still above high

Slugs fly, eyes sucked dry, still a thug cries

I cried 'till I can't cry no more

Believe my own nonsense, I can't lie no more

Soul dead, breathless; I can't sigh no more

Wheels already fell off, I can't ride no more

I guess I pack up all of my belongings and just troop it

You know it's beef when a smart nigga gets stupid

Cause then it's justified, rationale nullified

Steven shot 8 times, almost thought my brother died

See he was raised different, I know his mother tried

His arms tied, I'm trying to teach dude to touch the sky

But still shorty wild, turned on by 40 Cals

Was young, never saw me wild, clutch Robert Horry style

No wonder I picked-up triggers to beef

I only ever fist fought wit niggas bigger than me

I never been the one to try and grab shit in my reach

Incompliant, you have now witnessed the breach

I feel like life is all written, understand my math

Got on my knees, told God I had a plan, He laughed

I mean... hours passed, no sleep, cowards get a slow leak

Showered twice the whole week, powerless control freak

Thinkin' about suicide, won't though I'm scrutinized

Life nigga; do or die, hood want 'em crucified

Jewelry on, fresh dressed, model broads excess

Phone calls, death threats, tell me what's the next step

What's what, who's who, paranoid as usual

Grippin' on my deuce-deuce, either way a lose-lose

All I need is one mic, razor blades, gun fights

Room without no sunlight, understand son's plight

If done right, won't seek and fail

I don't follow the path, I'm creatin' my own to leave a trail

It's no rhyme or reason nor reason or rhyme

No more food for thought, shit deceasin' the mind

Now they doubtin' my desire, second guessin' my fashion

Like bringin' of weapons of mass in when you question my passion

I live for this, not the Baguettes and the fame

Got signed havin' an answer, then the question changed

Sayin' Jump Off don't sound right is blasphemous downright

I astound mics, music is just what feelings sound like

So even though when I do it it's flames

For a while felt like I was makin' music in vain

We don't do it same, I use it for change

Y'all do it for change, I use it for pain

But keep doin' ya thang' Soundscan skyrocket

Build all this hype 'bout it, prayin' people might cop it

This is just my logic, maybe it's psychotic

Though labels try to stop it this is my antibiotic

So lemme' start doin' what dudes like

A nigga in the booth feelin' fresher than some new Nikes

Dawg, and I cruise like cruise control

Fuck that! I can't do it, I might lose my soul

Even though it should help a nigga to his goal

Would defeat the whole purpose

Naw, that ain't what Jers is

Naw, that would be worthless

Bars soundin' nervous

A nigga much deeper than what you see on the surface

I'd rather resort back to snatchin' purses

Finally understanding what the gift and the curse is

If I was more concerned about a purchase

I would tell y'all it's about to go down like bird shit

It takes courage, me versus urges

A wordsmith that got caught-up in label merges

And what's worse is, I been deserted in the circus

Up-and-left the circuit, it's dead like hearses

Sicker than them pedophiles workin' in them churches

That ain't the type shit I deem fit for my verses

Dawg, so lemme' help niggas understand Mouse

Dawg, why try to fit in when you a stand-out?

It's no album, but the money never ran out

Aside from rap, I'm kinda' focused on land now. (You know?)

Cause I don't know whurr' the game is

I know we jus' been attacked by a Hurricane Chris

Some niggas can't fathom what money and fame is

Or some niggas get it by usin' they stainless

Or some niggas get it, but they can't sustain it

Me? I'm regular Joe, I don't let it change shit