Last Last Fall

I threw my old notebooks in the trash
Don't wanna turn that blue cheque into cash
So here come that last, hit make it last
Make it last
Make it last
I'm tryna' figure out how you can love me
When I don't even love myself baby
But if you wanna find out, then we can see
We can see
We can see

When I first met you I hit that panic button
I know that upset you, I wasn't capable of love
But really I was not prepared to be presentable, I hated myself
And I knew that I could love you from the day we were dealt
It's like we picked the perfect day off a shelf
The only thing that stopped me was that knowledge of self
Talk about overnight oatmeal, take you out, In-N-Out
Small pockets, big promises, and bigger self-doubt
Coulda' sworn that I was too foregone for someone like you
A sworn worn with big hearts, sharp, in sepia tone
Made a promise on my mattress I'm afford to adore you
That's a ripple on my soul to difficult to ignore
Had to open up my core, as to shut doors
Standing in a quiet room young and corrupted, bug eyed and buggin'
Tuggin' strings just to hear notes, pianos, and my chest ringing out for the day that I croak, then I'll know

I threw my old notebooks in the trash
Don't wanna turn that blue cheque into cash
So here come that last hit, make it last
Make it last
Make it last
I'm tryna' figure out how you can love me
When I don't even love myself baby
But if you wanna find out, then we can see
We can see
We can see

I haven't been outside the crib since Christmas, chin checking myself myself
Rubbernecking, no flexin', just remembering my daddy's a Texan
Need a break from these Best Westerns, I've been blessed with the room discretion
Looking for a therapist, very apparent I'm scared of myself
In the nation of these white terrorists, is it too late?
I need to spread the love or get tossed off this earth like a discus
Working my mental fitness, she taught me how to love myself
To begin this, but I can't pretend it's not hard to keep pretendin'
Without her don't know if these wheels will keep spinning, but new beginnings and new ends
It took a while to be a man, but
Damn it if that man didn't sit me down and do to me what he damn well can
But I'mma sit you down and do with us till I can't stand
Because I love you and I'm ready for you
Damn

I threw my old notebooks in the trash
Don't wanna turn that blue cheque into cash
So here comes the last hit, make it last
Make it last
Make it last
I'm tryna' figure out how you can love me
When I don't even love myself baby
But if you wanna find out, then we can see
We can see
We can see

I threw my old notebooks in the trash
Don't wanna turn that blue cheque into cash
So here comes the last hit, make it last
Make it last
Make it last
I'm tryna' figure out how you can love me
When I don't even love myself baby
But if you wanna find out, then we can see
We can see