Galahad

The angel of the Holy Grail, saw Galahad come riding

So he took the Holy Grail off the shelf

And inside the Holy Chapel made for Holy Grail hiding

The angel could be seen to smile to himself

"If you're the great Sir Galahad, from now on," said the angel

"May all angels call me blessed of my race

If you're not the great Sir Galahad, I warn you, keep on riding

And if you are, I pray you'll let me see your face"

Galahad removed his helmet, said, "Good angel, look upon me

Fear not, for I bring tidings of great joy

For long years, the grail you've guarded, now you get to let me drink it

How happy must be angels thus employed"

"All the favors that you shower upon me, a simple angel,"

Said the angel, "Your benevolence abounds

Take your boots off, great Sir Galahad, for by your astounding beauty

Whatever ground you stand on turns to holy ground"

Galahad took off his boots and he watched the ground quite closely

And the angel smiled to himself again

He said, "I can't believe I'm asking, but Sir Galahad, please tell me

What is it that makes you want to go to heaven?"

"In heaven there's no lamb chops, Queen Guineveres for hand jobs

Marijuana, Kenny Rogers or ecstasy

No pillaging, no rape, perhaps you've come by some mistake to me

This seems more error than knight errantry"

"Now, what about the stable boys? I know you think they're handsome

Some of them, they think you're awful handsome, too

Sitting up in heaven, you'll still think about them often

When you're an angel, thinking's all that you can do"

At this, Sir Galahad got angry, "Angel," he said, "Don't you tempt me

I wish to go to heaven and not to hell

So when stable boys look lonesome, when the women call me handsome

I'll hold my virtue very firmly by myself"

"I guarantee you'll hold it often," said the angel, "Oh, one more thing

Before you drink the cup please take your armor off

I gotta carry you to heaven and despite what you'd imagine

I have trouble bearing heavy things aloft"

Sir Galahad stood naked and a pile of his armor

His boots and helmet scattered all around

His perfect lips they sipped the grail, his perfect heart commenced to fail

His perfect body fell upon the ground

The angel smoked a cigarette when he was sure Galahad was dead

He picked all of his clothes up off the floor

Then I put on his boots and armor, I laid his body on the altar

Put his helmet on then I headed for the door