Crystal Methodist

(Mm-mm)

They built the strip club right on Church Street
And a liquor store right next door
In this eight-ball town, you put your roots in the ground
And your whiskey in your bathroom drawer

Daddy made ends in a Peter built
Momma kept baggies in her bra
Ain't no HGTV, Southern Living magazine
Beats all you ever saw

We got preachers, cheaters, homeroom teachers
County records, back road tweakers
Nosy neighbors, moonshine makers
Dealers and believers

Say bless your heart, come as you arе
Ain't no prejudice
We'rе just crazy Catholics, backwards Baptists
Crystal Methodists, Amen

Well, Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor"
Even if the car's on blocks
Said, "Mind your own, don't cast them stones"
But he didn't say nothing 'bout rocks

So the sheriff's kid's selling on the corner
Putting that silver spoon to use
He'll be high as a tornado serving 'em potatoes
At the luncheon, Sunday afternoon

We got preachers, cheaters, homeroom teachers
County records, back road tweakers
Nosy neighbors, moonshine makers
Dealers and believers

Say bless your heart, come as you are
Ain't no prejudice
We're just crazy Catholics, backwards Baptists
Crystal Methodists, Amen

Amen, Amen
Amen, Amen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

We got preachers, cheaters, homeroom teachers
County records, back road tweakers
Nosy neighbors, moonshine makers
Dealers and believers

Say bless your heart, come as you are
Ain't no prejudice
We're just crazy Catholics, backwards Baptists
Red wine at communion addicts
Sunday sober, holy rollers
Crystal Methodists, Amen

Oh, Amen
Amen
Wow
Amen