Welcome everybody, let's begin
Can't teach new tricks to an old dog (Yah)
Riding around the strip in an old car (Yeah)
Teach new tricks to an old dog (Yah)
Never wear the leash or the old guard
(I need everybody to stand up)
Been around the block, bet you missed her (Turn it up)
Never sit and stay for a picture (Turn it up)
Never wagged a tail, would have bit ya (Yeah)
Look at how they lap and they lick ya (Yeah)
Congeniality is a basis for content (Uh-huh)
Peddling narcissism wrapped in self-love and progress
(Yeah) You want it, I got it
This soul is a bargain (I know you want it)
America's the land of pretty people and monsters (I got it)
Disneyland spinoff of privilege and products (Yeah)
Compete with our drama
Clawed out from the bucket (Uh-huh)
Pretenders as artists
Selling scoundrels and follies
(I know you're pretending, you can't compete with me, stop it)
A Linx, a platinum leash
Affixed to my wallet (Uh-huh)
My hand, my stone laced hand
Affixed to my pocket (Uh-huh)
My heart, my ice-cold box
Remiss of her conduct (Uh-huh)
A row of gold-dipped caps
Affixed to my gum line (Excuse me, can you turn it up, please?)
Can't teach new tricks to an old dog (Yeah)
Riding around the strip in an old car (Yeah)
Teach new tricks to an old dog (Yeah)
Never wear the leash or the old guard (Yeah)
Been around the block, bet you missed her (Nah)
Never sit and stay for a picture (Nah)
Never wagged a tail, would have bit ya (Uh-huh)
Look at how they lap and they lick ya (Ayy)
Pull me along (I need y'all to turn it up)
Man, you're yanking my collar
Can't dance for your dollar again
Yeah (Let's go)
What's the new kick?
What's the new gig?
What's the new schtick?
Who's the new flesh to sink our teeth in? (Yeah)
Oh, then we drink their youthful spring
And run them dry
Count checks, keep it moving
My life condensed to targets
Audiences and their pockets (I see you)
When Redwood's fall, seem all and all
We're left with noise and sawdust (Everybody, hands up)
Individuality, unique as a Walmart (So special)
Exercising thought process, complete as a donut
Look at that over there, audacity totems (I love you so much)
They claim who make the grade
No, you meet the quota (Let's go)
Can't teach new tricks to an old dog (Yeah)
Riding around the strip in an old car
Teach new tricks to an old dog (Yah)
Never wear the leash or the old guard
Been around the block, bet you missed her
Never sit and stay for a picture
Never wagged a tail, would have bit ya
Look at how they lap and they lick ya (Yeah)
Pull me along (I need you to turn the beat up)
Man, you're yanking my collar (On my collar)
Can't dance for your dollar again (I don't think they hands is up)
Yeah (Turn it up)
How can I waste my time?
Love, you can have it
Take my place in line (I love you so much)
I'm sitting pretty
Dipped in raw sunshine (I love you)
Been known to shake a cage or two at times (Turn it up)
How can I waste my time?
The ceiling's vaulted
And your glass reprimed
Pulled linen curtains from across my eyes
Life is too long to be so pacified (Let's go)
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