808 Man

Boring, same ol' Sunday type shit
Man, kinda boring
Hey you, kid! (Who me?) Yeah you
Ahh what are you listenin to in that there Walkman huh?
(The new "Gas Face" rewrote'd by K.M.D
It's kind of funky with a lot of bass)
Yeah but I bet you wonder where they got the bass from huh?
(I don't really care)
Don't care? Well let me you this story
Go on now, let him tell you this story

Friday, I believe it was a payday
Onyx, Subroc and myself goes out of subway
To catch the X train, the drums roll Brooklyn
Plan was a night of intense hookin
We enter the club, where we hooked 'til we drop
When stopped, to exit, I spoke of this prop
Talked about her bouncing guns
The word buns was on the tip of my fun swing
Approached this big fat seven foot
"I'll teach you to talk to my girl!" Said the hood
Sub and I geesed, Onyx sped up the block
And it was fast, I looked back and Fats was headlockin him
I was clockin, about two blocks per minute
And then I thought, that voice
There's somethin definitely familiar in it
Not long did I cram
From the lows, I knows it was the 808 Man

Thump, thump, thump
They heard the (eight-oh-eight, man!)

Clockin crazy mileage like a 60-deck of math
Ducked into an alley like on Kickdrum Ave
Stopped and told Sub, but Sub was stumped
I said do you recall the bass that thumped
In the Jeeps of the streets, as the pedestrian bops?
Heard with vocals where any hip-hop beat drops
Y'know the bass fool! ("And everything happened as it did before")
But Sub wasn't passin it
To escape harassment, I booked like a crook
Out of sight, all my mics was took
Conscience eatin me, my boy's hooked in Hook
Off the 808 Man, so I peeps to look
No immediate danger did I see myself in
Watchin 'round the block thinkin "Ehh, who's missin him?"
Onyx was headlocked and Subroc was half nelson'd
Think I was wrappin up? Man, listen

Thump, thump, thump
They heard the (eight-oh-eight, man!)

(Man you guys must have been really scared!)
Was I? You think I wasn't?!
Man I was petri-scared stiff!
(What were you thinkin about?)

I was thinkin about my cousin Enus, if he asked me once
He asked me a dozen times to go bowlin with him
But still I wasn't runnin from the Bass, Man as he walked up
Then from the back of my thoughts I forked up
The teachings of Mr. Hood
And I began to recall when suddenly it dawned on me
Lesson one - if a sucker tries to come, let him come
By then the hood was up on me
Lesson two was to recite the words you can't do me none
Even though you might be bluffin, it's nothin
Follow procedure and sure 'nough, no doubt
Left that seven foot fat hood whupped out
Lesson three said a keeper of a hood is his brotherhood
As we helped him up he said "Damn!
You sure pack a punch, I had a hunch you was a hood
Well if you ever need bass, hook up with the 808 Man"

Thump, thump, thump
They heard the (eight-oh-eight, man!)

Man tried to get me to throw hands, I had to go hu huh!
Yeah check it out yo, yo that's a tight headlock true indeed
Yeah, the half nelson got me in a neck brace
Yeah, but kid you know where they got the bass from now?
(Yeah yeah, sure do!)
Yeah yeah word
But I'll tell you what
I'll give you this exclusive K.M.D. album tape, unreleased!
(Sweet, thanks!
I'll let my boy Lil' Rock hear it, I'll let Bill hear it
And my mom and dad will hear it)
Yo yo, don't let nobody dub it, don't let nobody dub it
Don't let somebody dub it, you'll get funked
Now scram, or 808 Man'll do ya
Now get up out of here, you thumpty-hump dump head
(What?) Yeah yeah, just scram, scram
Get out of here (808, man)
(808, man)