Thought It Was Real

stop trying to not care just stop caring about whether you care
i’ve been there
and in my eyes you’re still a dreamer
and i’m getting nearer
i can see by the way you smile at everything and cry at nothing
i imagine it’s more peaceful without my demeanour
some nice decoration
and self deprecation
i might just give in
but i’m my eyes i’m getting nearer
to hitting zero darlin
that’s some dead conversation
liven me up a little i’m sick and tired of feeling underwhelmed i’m deciding i’m submittal in my dreams i’m sinking once more and it seems
it’s all coming real
i felt it in my bones
and that’s the last time i fear
i’ll ever get a hold
of what it means to be here
i’m not good at being told
what to do with the years
i’m starting to feel old for once
forget the bad times blame them on some bad guy forget the good things they’re just a pass time don’t you’re excited don’t act like you’re not dying
stop trying to be sad,
no you know it aint bad
i can’t cope with my self
but at night you called me crying
i wouldn’t be lying if i said
that i’m feeling like a ghost
the time feels like the weather
the air feels like a muzzle
the weight feels like a feather
and i’m plotting my escape
until i wake won’t you just acknowledge my adoration, you’re just messing up my system i’m tryna have a drink whilst your face clogs up my vision but at night i’m sinking once more and it seems
it’s all coming real
i felt it in my bones
and that’s the last time i fear
i’ll ever get a hold
of what it means to be here
i’m not good at being told
what to do with the years
i’m starting to feel old
and in the streets i feel sonder
everyone i see never seems to stop and ponder what they see could be a dream
and in the back seat i’ve been longing the monotony succeeds in changing me into a watcher as life rips at its seams
and it’s out of your control
you run it back the same broken home
so many people their names there on your phones
so many people when you’re left alone you thought it was real thought it was real
my mouths shut i can’t scream
the horrors that i’ve seen my eyes glued to the screen the television man and his television dreams everyone i love isn’t there i thought it was real i thought it was real