Don't Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll

[Spoken word prologue]

You know, I remember a few years ago

Some funny things used to happen to me

About 1956-57

At that time there was no blues scene

Or not really any kind of scene in London

I used to go out and play my guitar in the streets

And sing things with passing my hat down

I remember one particular night

I was playing the guitar in a little alleyway

Just off of Wardour Street in Soho

And I got busted by the police

This policeman come up and dragged me and my guitar

And my hat full of pennies off to the police station

Anyway, the next day

I had to appear in Marlborough Street Police Court

And it was quite a day

Police officer giving his evidence

"I was proceeding in a southerly direction, milord

When I heard strange sounds

Coming from Wardour Place, milord

A sort of 'boo-gee woo-gee' music was being played

On further investigation, I saw the defendant

Standing there with a guitar and an old hat

On the floor collecting pennies

Well, I decided that he was contravening

A breach of the peace there, as there was

A traffic jam about five miles long down Wardour Street

Wondering what all the fuss was about

So then I arrested the defendant"

"Ah, just one moment, officer

Well, what is this 'boo-gee woo-gee' music

Here we're talking about?"

"Oh, well, milord", said the officer

Getting out his notebook, obviously

Been doing up his homework

"It's a kind of jazz-rhythm music

Peculiar to the American-Negro"

"Oh! And what was the defendant doing

Playing this kind of music there in Wardour Street?"

Anyway I got off with a caution

A year's conditional discharge

But I'll always remember that policeman

And his "boo-gee woo-gee"

So don't try to lay no "boo-gee woo-gee"

On the king of rock and roll

Ho!

[First verse]

Don't tell me nothing, don't lies, a woman

'Cause all you know I've told

Don't sell me no alibis, sister

'Cause all you've got I've sold

You better leave at a-midnight a-slinking

To the one who works it out

I don't want to hear no rack-tackem squeaking

Go on and shut your mouth

And everything is gonna work out tight

If you ain't like you been told

Just don't try to lay no boogie woogie

On the king of rock and roll

[Second verse]

Don't feed me no TV dinners

When you know that I'm used to steak

I don't need no rank beginners

When it's time to shake the shake

You better pull your thing together

When you've been dusted out

And if you feel that you just can't dig it

You know you don't know what it's all about

It ain't a matter of per convenience

That's gonna justify your soul

Just don't try to lay no boogie woogie

On the king of rock and roll

[Instrumental bridge]

Don't try to lay no boogie woogie

On the king of rock and roll

[Third verse]

You weren't alive when I started to jive

So don't pull nothing on me

You didn't arrive til late '45

But your head's in '53

You got what it takes, get their heads a-spinnin'

Down by the lonely shack

But you come on just like a fool woman

In the back of a red Cadillac

You can't come across the Oxbow Bridge

Until you pay the toll

So don't try to lay no boogie woogie

On the king of rock and roll