Everything Stops For Tea

[Intro:]

Yes, hello, hello?

No, I'm sorry, I'm frightfully busy today

Oh, Mr. Baldry, can I have your autograph?

Oh, god, I can't write!

But I've come a long way, oh, shit!

Oh, but it's an equally long way to go back, isn't it?

Oh, Mr. Baldry, can I play you a song of mine?

Oh, must you?

Uh, yes, I really must

Oh, go on, then

Yes, it's awfully good, Mr. Lemon

Oh, well use it on your new album!

Uh, I don't know, I-I'll have to call you

I-I'm sorry, I've got the phone in the other

In... the other phone going

Yes, hello, hello?

No, I'm sorry, I'm just being driven completely up the wall today

I just can't cope, I'm sorry!

Here's your tea, Mr. Baldry

Ohh, bless your heart, thank you!

[Song:]

Every nation in creation has its favorite drink

France is famous for its wine; it's beer in Germany

Turkey has its coffee, and they serve it blacker than ink

Russians go for vodka, and England loves its tea

Oh, the factory may be roaring

With a boomalacka, zoomalacka, whee

But there isn't any roar when the clock strikes four

Everything stops for tea

Oh, a lawyer in the courtroom

In the middle of an alimony plea

Has to stop and help 'em pour when the clock strikes four

Everything stops for tea

It's a very good English custom

Though the weather be cold or hot

When you need a little pick-up, you'll find a little teacup

Will always hit the spot

You remember Cleopatra

She had a date to meet Mark Antony at three

But he came an hour late she said, "You'll have to wait"

'Cause everything stops for tea

Now, they may be playing football

And the crowd is shouting "Kill the referee!"

But no matter what the score, when the clock strikes four

Everything stops for tea

Now, the golfer may be golfing

And is just about to make a hole-in-three

It always gets them sore when the clock strikes four

Cause everything stops for tea

It's a very good English custom

And a stimulant for the brain

When you feel a little weary, a cup will make you cheery

And it's cheaper than champagne

Now I know just why Franz Schubert

Didn't finish his unfinished symphony

He would have written more but the clock struck four

And everything stops for tea