Viagra (Skit)

[Ludacris]

Oh god! Oh god! Ugh..

[911 Lady]

9-1-1 What's your emergency?

[Ludacris]

Yes ma'am I got a hard problem, I got a hard problem...

[911 Lady]

Calm down sir, it can't be that hard, Okay?

[Ludacris]

No, no it can't, it-it can't... It is! My dick, it's been hard for over eight hours and it just won't go down!

[911 Lady]

Excuse me?!

[Ludacris]

I took one of them Viagras for the first time...

[911 Lady]

Word?!

[Ludacris]

And the first one didn't do anything, s-so I took another one...

[911 Lady]

OK..

[Ludacris]

And now my shit harder than titanium in this motherfucker, I've been knocking shit over...

[911 Lady]

Damn, I ain't had no dick in 6 months..

[Ludacris]

Why don't them shits come with directions?! I don't know what to do, ma'am help!

[911 Lady]

Hey girl, Lisa!

[Lisa]

Hmhm--?

[Ludacris]

--My god, what was I thinking...

[911 Lady]

--Cover my shift, forward this call to my cell and confirm his address!

[Lisa]

I got you!

[Ludacris]

Swear to god imma kill Tyrone and them niggas, I ain't never listenin' to them niggas again man, I swear!

[Lisa]

Mmm... Calm down, sir help is on the way!

[Ludacris]

I can't believe these bitches set my dick up for failure!

[911 Lady]

Well, what happened anyway?

[Ludacris]

I had, I had invited this chick over, you know what I'm sayin', this bitch I knew from a long time...

[911 Lady]

Mm-Hmm...

[Ludacris]

And she said she was with her friend, and they both wanted this thang, man, like they both wanted to jump me off, you know what I'm sayin', and then--

[911 Lady]

--Poor thang!--

[Ludacris]

--it started going to voicemail, man I HATE these bitches, man why do they need to be doing this stupid shit?!

[911 Lady]

Mm-Mm, sir, help is in the neighborhood!--Is it the last house on the right?

[Ludacris]

...Right on the right... right? No, they right, THESE BITCHES AIN'T RIGHT!

[Lisa]

Mm, don't worry about that! Momma gon' take care of you! Oh, is the one with the blow up dolls in the front?

[Ludacris]

The one in the cut, with the furry bushes... it's got some furry bushes, yes it does... I done wacked off like three times! I don't know what else to do!

[911 Lady]

Well, you ain't gotta do that no more! (opens and closes door)

[Ludacris]

What the hell you doin' in my house?!

[911 Lady]

Nigga, where the drinks at?!