Schemes

[Intro]

(Uncle Lupe)

Alright it's time to go to sleep

(Hey Uncle Lupe)

What?

(Can you please tell us a bedtime story?)

Ugh, it's late man

Okay, okay okay, check this out, listen

[Verse 1]

Cold killer, bold old guerrilla

Bold as a font with the thickness

Old as yellow gold in a Chevrolet with a stick shift

The story goes his mother left him on a church step

First step was out the front door then the first left

Down the block to the spots where the worst kept

Thirty years later got a thirty tier caper

To shoot up the scene and scheme

Plot, broken all down to two rounds of scotch

A pound means now and we too down to stop

Say ya got enough round for two thousand cops

Military grade, these things shoot round the block

Shh threat, check

The dame will hang out like chains round the neck

He ever seen her before, her face don't connect

No, so keep it on the low, go

Seizes her by the arm

Looks right into the eyes cause these be the charms

Sheba, King Tut suite at the Khalifa

Tied to a chair getting burned by Cohibas

A well dressed thug who run clubs in the Koreas

The room smells like fresh hand made tortillas

He recognized the tattoos of a real big Maui brother

Known for bad news when his cash rules

Are you familiar with the shell of the cashews?

As he holds the needle up to the light bulb

White girls enter drunk, he stands up runs to the window and jumps

Aim for the pool... splash

The impact from that almost split him in half

Voice from the past asks did he enjoy the bath

Laughs with his arm in a cast, hold up

[Chorus]

Never what it seems, everybody wanna be seen

On the cover of a magazine

Everybody want big things

Everybody want big dreams

Everybody want bling bling

Everybody wanna be the king

Everybody bling

Everybody sings

Everybody wanna big thing

In the valley of kings and pyramid schemes

It's never what it seems, everybody wanna be seen

On the cover of a magazine

Everybody wanna sip lean

Everybody want a big dreams

Everybody want bling bling

Everybody want C.R.E.A.M

Everybody wanna have a team

Everybody wanna be the king

Everybody want a big scheme in the land of pyramid schemes

[Verse 2]

As he tried to do the math with Smearcon the fed

The contract states from here upon you're dead

The girl at the bar is an underworld star

Settling on debts with north Zanzibar

Your name's on the list, kitsch

A hundred million dollars worth of high grade fish

Tuna, Tokyo cartels worlds biggest consumer

A rumor bout a schooner off the coast of Montezuma

They say you slit the throat of a well known kahuna

Then torched the boat and fled into the Dunya

You’re hated more than a Kalua pig at a Jumu'ah

They want your head on a platter, not right now but sooner

I got you a .45 and a Mitsubishi tuner

Wait, wait I've never been to Costa Rica

And then it all comes back

Just as Smearcon falls with a ninja star in his head like..huh

Then they slowly enter the room

I grabbed a .45, the ninja stars resume

I catch him in the cast and answer them with a blast, blow

Three more shots for good measure

Only exit is another window, pfft, whatever

Short fall to the roof of the car

Then I get in, left arm covered in ninja stars

Then a zero to a hundred baby real quick

Look around the car for something else to kill with

Lamborghini headlights in the rear view

These Parisian streets not meant to veer through

Especially with just one hand

I let go to shoot back but the gun jams

Mitsubishi not built to outrun Lambs

So they gaining, heavy raining

Rear view explodes from deadly aiming

Arm paining, blood draining

Pains, head for the Louvre

Drive right through the glass pyramid with dope moves

A little shook from the landing

Driving through the Louvre in a rally car with great handling

Was at the Mona Lisa

Stop the car right in front of the Delacroix and have a breather

Press play on the radio, voice from the speaker

Says get to Belgrade and take an ad out in the daily Politika

They says for a good time call this Ecuador slash Venezuelan chica

Next day at the airport meeted by a greeter who looks Corsican but Greeker

A little older wearing Michael Jordan sneakers

But I follow the leader

1995 S. Class, in the back seat is a dead man whose car I just crashed

Smearcon's alive, audience now wonders how Smearcon survived

Let alone not be hurt, he taps a metal plate in his head from his Afghanistan work

What Visine for red retinas, what else would you expect from head predators

Ex-lecturer, at Exeter, the dean too secular

So now I'm totes hecklers, everywhere

Now Smearcon's on the team, so everybody's down for the scheme

[Interlude 1]

(The final chapter in the incredible ape saga)

(Smearcon's back!)

[Verse 3]

Now it's time to finish this, getting too late for international syndicates

To which the driver reveals his membership

This won't end well, he pulls out a grenade and says

(Damn you all to hell!)

[Interlude 2]

(Wait, what happened? Uncle Lupe what's going on?)

Go to sleep

(But what happened? I don't understand)

Nope

(Please finish the story please)

Storytime's over

You asked for a story I gave you one

Take it, just take it

(This is the worst bedtime story ever)

Bye

[Verse 4]

Psych sucker, Smearcon is back

You really think that he would go out like that?

They're under attack, MAC under the back...

[Outro]

I'm just playing, it's really over

It's the end of the tape

Thank y'all man

Pharaoh Height two thirty, Yeah

Shout to DJ Busy

You know how we do

Uhh Uhh hah

Hope you all enjoyed it man, Yeah

Scott what up

What you thought I couldn't do this no more, huh?

Man listen, lets let this play out

Bogglin' Giblets