E.R.N.I.E. (Live at The Hammersmith Odeon - 23.12.80)

I am the bringer of your wishes
Your saviour from doing work
The washer of your dishes, and
You'll still get you mid-day perk
Estate agent
Your mansion and pot of gold
All the home comforts
Before you're getting tired and old

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week

So when you hear me coming
Along halls and up the stairs
Get the black teapot
In the cupboard, under chairs
Forget all your wives tales
Or forecasts and dividends
E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations
Only pays out to trusting friends

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening
The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week

Keep your hand on the bottle
And your eyes glued upon the set
When the score cards come up
Could be you for the big one next
Publicity, no thank you
On the front page of the currant bun
They think you stink
But in the pub you'll be number one

One more try
Try to get what you've never had
Five more bob
For the whole world that can't be bad
We can't all win
Look it's happening

The future's looking not so bleak
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week
A thousand winners every week