Hey Big Dog

[Verse 1: Margaret Cho]

Hey big dog

Why are you afraid of the wind?

It will always blow the doors

And windows in

Wind is real

It's always there

Baby big dog

It's only moving air

[Verse 2: Fiona Apple]

Hey big mama

Why do you always wait by the phone?

Don't you know that bad man

Will always leave you alone

He likes to say he will

But he never says when

And I will bite him

If he comes around again

[Chorus: Margaret Cho & Fiona Apple]

We're silly creatures

Who need teachers

We got problems

Can we solve them together?

Ooh, together

Ooh

[Verse 3: Margaret Cho]

Hey big dog

Why do you howl at the moon?

I never heard such a sad

And mournful tune

Didn't you know

The moon is your friend

It's the only one there

For you in the end

[Verse 3: Fiona Apple]

Hey big mama

Why you let that man come around?

I don't like the way he looks

I don't like the way he sounds

And I didn't tell you

But he stepped on my tail

And he smells just like he

Like he's fresh out of jail

[Bridge: Margaret, Fiona Apple, Both]

Stop licking your paws

I like the taste

I am the boss

Squirrels gotta be chased

Don't pee on the rug

Then don't do drugs

You're just a pup

Stop messing things up, ooh

[Chorus: Margaret Cho & Fiona Apple]

We're silly creatures

Who need teachers

We got problems

Can we solve them together?

Ooh, together

Ooh, together

Ooh, together

Ooh