Block Your Number

It's always best at the beginning

I remember when we first fell in love
Symphonies at the bus stop on a Tuesday
I was wearing blue Nike high tops
You were annotating Greek tragedies
I spent the next eight months
Documenting my heart in voice memos
Trying to write down my feelings in real time
Part of me knew it would slip through my fingers so quickly
Like it always does

I guess I was too much for you
Or was I just not enough for you
I can never decide
So I analyze
Replay all the scenes
In my movie screen
I pulled away
And you made me pay
That weekend in May
That night in July
I'll blame it on summer
I'll blame it on distance
I'll blame it on me
On all my resistance
To get in so close
I might really need you
You're the one person who might really see through
All of my bullshit
And all of my anger
That time when you called
And I didn't answer
So I just relive
These communications
And then I go back to our last conversation

Now you're leaning against a brick wall
With your backpack on baby
You look so much older than
Than when I met you
I can't believe it's over
I watch our lives untangle
I guess that this is the part when
I block your number

Sitting through the nuances of conversation
Your affliction tells me if you mean it
Modern love is so damn romantic
The irony of poor connection as we talk over FaceTime
What a metaphor
You say I remind you of fiction
A remarkable girl
But also a nightmare
You found it poetic
And sometimes magnetic
Until you got sick of my psychoanalysis
Like they always do

I'll blame it on summer
I'll blame it on distance
I'll blame it on you
On all your persistence
That it's only chances
And it's only timing
And if it were perfect
I wouldn't be crying
On the floor of my dorm room
You wait in the lobby
And you keep insisting
And I keep on sobbing
So I just relive the deliberations
And then I go back to our last conversation

Now you're leaning against a brick wall
With your backpack on baby
You look so much older than
Than when I met you
I can't believe it's over
I watch our lives untangle
I guess that this is the part when
I block your number

I'll blame it on summer
I'll blame it on distance
I'll blame it on you
And all your persistence
That it's only chances
And it's only timing
And if it were perfect
I wouldn't be crying
On the floor of my dorm room
You wait in the lobby
And you keep insisting
And I keep on sobbing
So I just relive the deliberations
And then I go back to our last conversation