The Otherground Pizza Party

[Intro: Milo & Open Mike Eagle]

I don't know why I'm always inclined to end on a happy note

Though the point may be moot

Like the 10 year old boy with his throat and his dreams ripped out by wolves

Fuck wolves

[Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle]

I used to throw these sensitive parties for art rap

No regrets, but I was foolish to start that

Sophisticated fuckers left a bitch of a bar tab

And now we just throw pizza parties

Where there's Game Boys for Tetris

A full sized, fold out map of Amestris

Milo decorated, now he's done, so he's restless

And it's up to me to finish up the guest list:

Nocan, Mega Ran, Castro

Sammus, Billy Woods, Busdriver, Has-Lo

Zilla, Green, Cloudy Oc, PremRock, NASA

And more, Grandmaster Caz, Van Gogh

Bob, Kurt Vonnegut, Prince, and James Baldwin

Mark Maron, Ron and Fez, and George Carlin

Bill Buckner, Joe Walsh, and Steve Bartman

An otherground ass pizza party

[Verse 2: Milo & Open Mike Eagle]

If Daniel Tosh crosses this party's threshold he will be tossed into a fresh bowl of pesto

Same goes for Cobra Commander and Destro

And the baroness unless she honors the dress code

No onesies, no mittens and no Gumbies

Chevy Chase can come if changes his old undies

If Jerry Falwell shows all hell'll break loose

I'll be in the corner hiding a mustache stained with grape juice

Mouthing how much I hate you

For all the world's problems you're to blame

If you thought this pizza party was catered by Herman Cain

Jimmy McMillan said the rent was too damn high

And somehow two dudes from Blue Man Group snuck by

[Skit: Milo & Open Mike Eagle]

Michael, we have a problem. Somehow, someone let Kai Green into this party

How do you mean man?

I saw pictures online of him having sex with a grapefruit

[Verse 3: Milo]

The heir apparent of sandwich island

The duke of this pizza party

My business card reads I strong-armed Steve Harvey

With a tear basin full of boy spleens

Friend of weird masons with coy schemes

Renowned eater of all things soy bean

In fact, I'm an after the fact conversationalist

This is where I make a Rob Sonic face for emphasis

Somebody left a dookie stain in the toilet bowl (oh my god)

Don't bring your friend who's known to eat the whole Twinkie roll

Mike brought a mix CD with System of a Down

And I have hydraulic pistons that steer my frown

No admittance if you like Ayn Rand and outdated modal jazz boy bands

We drink chocolate milk until our tummy aches

I love the oatmeal raisin cookies that my mommy bakes

Indeed, it's all so very glorious

Alton Brown was dancing to Notorious

This is my pizza party I make the rules

So at this point gravity stops functioning

In the very middle of this quirky luncheon thing

Everybody pulls out their yo-yos

I forgot to mention the get-down was deejayed by Shlohmo

But then Analog(ue) Tape Dispenser pulls out a lightsabre and cuts a dude in half

Oh my god! This is so messy, I don't think we have enough paper towels

But this uni-brow gives me a permanent pseudo-scowl

We demanded the party was catered by Pizza Planet

Someone was sneaking slices - Gentleman Bandit

[Outro Skit: Milo]

I could have sworn there at least were 3 more pieces of pesto-spinach-garlic pizza here

I swear to-

Who-whos...?

Nicholas are you sneaking slices again?

Yeah, it was Nicholas, wasn't it?

(giggles)