Not Ready

Let's just be honest, Jesus I'm a mess
Can't seem to fill this void of emptiness
My bills are paid but I'm still stressed
I need You, I need You

Trying to medicate, end all the pain
Can't hush these voices in my brain
Singing songs of silence, sounds of shame
I need You, I need You

But if I tell the truth I'm so afraid of truth
But I know it and You know it

I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change
I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change

Soaking between what was and what could be
I'm so afraid to loose the image they see
I don't even know what's happening to me
I need You, I need You

But when I face the facts, my feeling's not a fact
I know it, yes, I know it

I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change
I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change

Sometimes I feel like I, like I gotta hide
I just don't get why You stay with me
'Cause my faith and my trust are wavering
Wavering

Maybe it's all my pride, it's hard to surrender
When I've been pretending to have it together
But I feel like my world is falling apart
Just need a minute, just a second to catch up

I know I'm not finished, I just can't seem to get up
Help me remember all of the place that we made
When we were both on the same page
On the same page

I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change
I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth
I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change

(But if I tell the truth-)