I'm Not a Loser

[SQUIDWARD]

I'm not a loser

I don't secretly hate myself

I'm not singing this to no one

It's not the case that no one cares...

I'm not a failure

I don't not have talent

When others see me, they can't see

The nobody that isn't there

(spoken)

Hold on, that's a triple negative. You can't not see nobody. Because I'm not nobody, which can't not be seen. Let me start over. 

(sung)

My life's not empty

They don't not like me at all

I don't not leave the house

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home

I don't stink

I'm not a waste

I'm not all alone in thinking

That I am not all alone

(spoken)

Maybe I am a loser!

[SEA ANEMONES]

Hey Squidward!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]

Huh?

[SEA ANEMONES]

You're not delirious with despair

And you're not calling true things false

Hey Squidward!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]

This is weird. 

[SEA ANEMONES]

You're not hallucinating this sea anemone chorus line at all!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]

I'm not?

[SEA ANEMONES & SQUIDWARD]

You're not a loser

You don't secretly hate yourself

You're not singing this to no one

It's not the case that no one cares (Okay!)

You're not a failure

You don't not have talent

When others see you they can't see

The nobody that isn't there

[SQUIDWARD & SEA ANEMONES]

I'm not a loser! (Not a loser...) (Ooh...)

They don't not like me at all (No!)

I don't not leave the house

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home! (Stay at home!)

I don't stink! (You don't stink...)

I'm not a waste (You're not a waste...)

I'm not all alone in thinking

That I am not all alone!

Clarinet solo!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]

Look at me now, Mama!

[Dance Break]

[SQUIDWARD, SEA ANEMONES, BOTH]

I'm not a loser! (You're not a loser...) (Ooh...)

They don't not like me at all (No!)

I don't not leave the house (Leave the house)

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home! (Stay at home!)

[BACKUP SINGER]

Yeah...yeah...yeah...stay-at-home!!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]

Hey! Shh!

[SQUIDWARD]

I don't stink

I'm not a waste

I'm not all alone in thinking

That I'm not, not!

Not all— alone

[SEA ANEMONES]

You are not alone

You are not alone

You are not, not, not, not

Not, not, not, not, not, not

Not alone

You are not, not, not alone!