[Intro]
Haha, why do I bother?
Fuck, haha
Uh, this is a nervous laugh, um
Never thought it would come to this, um
It's just
It's disgusting, like
What the fuck? Oh God, no, no, haha
I'm jokin', bro, I swear to God, I swear to God
I so swear to God
Alright, alright
[Verse 1]
I'll start talkin' 'bout me
But if I do that a little, I'll be considered selfish
But if I don't speak at all, I'll be considered helpless, but fuck it
Before I go down, I'ma speak my truth before they shut it
I will never be seen as the gender that I am
Regardless if I try, I'll still pass as a man
If I told my therapist I'm havin' thoughts again
Then it will prove I don't deserve freedom yеt again
Can't pretend, if I'm way too honest, it bitеs back
I made friends, I'm still lonely as shit
If you don't get it, that's good, you livin' better than me
Nothin' ever sits right when you are on a blood spree
Most people joke about this so lightly when I'm fightin'
That's how I know they've never been in my place
Acceptin' fate, my talent is a waste
'Cause I'm givin' it away to the dead
You say that I deserve the world, but I never seem to get a inch of it
Don't follow my footsteps, I am a bad example
I couldn't handle all the fuckery that puts finger guns to my head
I had so many opportunities with different methods
I didn't take them 'cause my hope was still represented
This world is too fuckin' cruel, my death'll be a benefit
They would take the news, five minutes, and forget the shit
It's good to know I always have a motherfuckin' way out
[Interlude]
Go ahead, I'm waiting (Tick-tock, tick-tock, haha)
Kill yourself, you fucking bitch
[Verse 2]
Randos that could save me, I feel your fuckin' guilt
I wish I met me too, to save my fuckin' self
But instead, you knew me too late to help me carry some weight
I will barely be remembered as my true self
I affected all your lives, so I'm sorry
I'm doin' you a favor, so celebrate and take it as a waiver
The train is comin', the bullet's runnin', the blade is cuttin'
I am the "wannabe girl," it's really somethin'
I hope you'll save the next life that thinks about this after
Nevermind, it doesn't matter