Appendicitis

There were times that I wanted it

So bad that I made it hurt

But now I wait as patiently as I can

For my heart to ache again

Now I've a shell I could sell as warmth

That I can always hide in

I want that home to be nice, my pride and joy

But it won't ever own a bed

There are some that could come close

And sometimes hurt more than they help

But I'm fine with the flies landing on me

Where they will go goes away and I end up somewhere else

I can't look a dog in the eyes

One that just wants to lick me

Secrets in a vault that eat your insides like acid

And mean nothing to anyone else

But it's the inflatable cross you bear

And it's a self-importance you carry to think it means something

(But it doesn't and you punch yourself in the head for it and then)

You crouch into a box where you pretend it doesn't exist

The fear can sit there

Stewing, festering, growing, the box grows too

You build your world around it