i hate waking up

When the sun widens its eyes
I no longer know what's going on in here

Ey-ey
Waking up soon, but I wanna sleep
Nothing is worse than leaving these sheets
Barely awake, still brushing my teeth
Running the tap, rinse, and repeat
You were the lady and I was the tramp
But showing you off, I felt like the champ
I was your favourite, but fading away
Leaving saliva all over my face

Movies on Fridays no longer a thing
Huh, I-I feel it sting
What didn't I bring? 'Cause I brought a lot
In case you come back I'll be saving your spot
Try making a difference and showing you life
Stuck at your side, you stuck in a knife
Pouring you wine, you pouring my blood
Wipe out my life, in need of a flood, yeah

I need a flood, I need an end
Scared of the truth, so I'll keep pretending
Don't need a reason, I've been defeated
Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus
(I no longer know what's going on in here)

Yeah, ever seen somebody die?
Ever cut your wrists with the bluntest of knives?
Hit your friends, started texting goodbyes?
Ain't nothing left, but death in your eyes
Sometimes people leavin', the lesson's acceptance
The older you get, harder it is to get it
Some people look for you, some look for an exit
Might hurt you, might hate it, but never regret it

I don't run from pain, it made me
How could I ever hate what it shaped me?
Been to hell, how could that devil faze me?
Wish 'em well, even when they all hate me
Let me be, take my soul and finally set it free
Spread my ashes on the seven seas
Let me rest in peace, when I'm dead, deceased
Swear a grave's the only thing that's left for me

I need a flood, I need an end
Scared of the truth, so I'll keep pretending
Don't need a reason, I've been defeated
Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus
(I no longer know what's going on in here)
(I have nothing left)

Ain't a discography, this an effigy
I'm a giant, so when I am dying
You had better make sure that I'm buried seven feet
My reflection deference to the left of me
Cracking under pressure don't let it get to me
You can even break me down chemically
Rapping pain, the only thing that my chemistry
Contains, I think that this meant for me

I think it's meant for me, maybe not meant to be
I'm sick and tired of fighting with enemies
Trying to cry, she lied about everything
I wanna die, but that's a petty thing
I got a lot more I could be giving
Some people hate me, that's a given
Wonder what I could've done to act like the sun
And put some good use to my energy

I think I'm done, done, done, done
I wanna run, run, run, run
Tried to get some, some, some, some
And I fucked up my funds, funds, funds, funds
I got like two years to be me
And I got like three days in a week
Now I got like four things that I need
And I bought like five pills, I'm asleep

Yeah, you know I'm tired as shit
I thought I'd die as a kid
I brought a knife into school
And they told me, "It is what it is"
Should've been locked in a prison
Talk about shitty decisions
I had to roam, no intentions
Told me to work for my pension, huh
Nowadays, I've been getting paid
'Cause the music got me some attention, yeah