My Name Is Mud

My name is Mud

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill, or Jack, or Pete, or Dennis
My name is Mud, it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sonsabitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue, yes, navy blue from head to toe
I'm rather drab, except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well, most the time
'Cept today, my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foot two, and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell

My name is Mud

My name is Mud
But call me Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud, so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated, blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink only the finest 'cept I haven't earned a dime in several months, or were it years?
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with that aluminum baseball bat

My name is Mud
My name is Mud
M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mud
My name is Mud

(Where're you goin', city boy?)