Bad Babysitter

Ok honey, now the name of the restaurant
And my cellphone number are on the refrigerator (Uh-huh)
Don't be afraid to call for me if you need anything
Now have Josh in bed by 9 (Aha) 9:30 at latest (Sure)
Now the soda and the chips are in the kitchen (Great)
Atari, DVD-Player
And I think there are some board games in the closet (Uh-huh)

Oh, but one thing, just be good (Okay)

I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour

Babysitting sucks, but whatever, they got junk food, kung fu
Egg fu, Dig Dug, a dog too, and a hot Jew
Mr. Weintraub, I mean he's old but not dimed out
If I'm bad, I'll turn around in the corner for time-out
Aight, Josh, what you wanna do? You wanna watch cartoons?
HBO got Platoon (No), hey, get back in the room
I assume your folks are gonna be out late, go make me Kool Aid
I'ma sit on the couch and masturbate
Then call my boyfriend Gabe and see if he ate
Spit out my Bubblicious and get to one of them
Big fridges that could fit ten midgets
Damn, they rich, hey, she left me fifty dishes, bitch
Let's try on ya mom's minks, think she'll miss these Chanel links?
In high heels you look like Jar Jar Binks, go play under the sink
(I want my mommy and daddy!) I want your daddy as well
But if you tell, you'll die of sickle cell
And God told me you're goin' straight to Hell
Well, if you don't like it, I can leave and then you'll be alone
Believe me, that's what the creepy monsters want
Plus I'll be taking your TV (No)
Put on your 'jamas and don't wet the bed, I got a camera
I'll take a picture and show that little girl you like, Sarah
Oh, and one more thing
There's been several mass murderers spotted in the area

I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour

Let's make Fluffernutters don't fuckin utter another peep
I'll take the cookie cutter make star cookies outta ya skin
While you sleep
Keep still, I gotta check the bathroom cabinet
Hey what are these pills?
I'll take the Valium Josh you take a bag and the Tagamet
Stop throwin up I'm not paid enough you clean up the rug
Is that Fluff? I told you 6 boxes of unmade Jell-O was too much
All right kid you gotta go to bed, I know its only 6
But my boy just came over and he wants me to give him head
Sit his bare ass on the couch where you watch Small Wonder
Next time you see Vicky the spot'll be sticky
Cuz I sucked his dicky and used your mom's cucumber
Don't worry I'll put it back in the Frigidaire
Scared?
You can have it for supper nice and crisp in the Tupperware (Ew)
No bedtime story, Gabe get off you're so horny!
Josh get in bed and Freddie Krueger
Might let you see your mom in the mornin
No porn and shut the shade Gabe-
One day you'll know how nice it is to get laid while you gettin paid

I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour

Oh, dag, they just came back
Jeez, Mr. W, your wife looks bad
Oh, it must have been the drinks she had
We drank some mai tais, watched jai alai
Ripped off her thigh highs
Um, too much information, I need a ride
Oh, let's take the the Benz
That's the coolest car I ever seen
How old are you again? I forget, nineteen?
Uh-huh yeah, psych, in like four more years
Oh, one time, could you please show me one of those nice cheers?
(Wooh) Have you been working out?
No doubt, here's your house
You wanna come in? We just got this awesome new couch
Ouch, stop it girl
Can't I get a little peek?
Nah, girl, I'll take a rain check and see you next week

I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower
Woo! I'm makin' six bucks an hour