Be Present (live from Catalyst Atlanta)

[Spoken Word: Propaganda]

So I tend to think of life in terms of movie clips, or tweetable moments

Somehow I've convinced myself they last longer that way

And my wife proved wrong when she referred to my phone as my black wife

Now I thought it was funny, I mean we both giggled, now single men take notes

Now I'm no expert, but I don't think she was kidding

She talked about some other stuff which I really don't remember

I was too busy in my head composing a

Tweet where I would quote her with some sort of clever hashtag

About marriage and about how much I love her

To be paying attention to her at that moment

I think what snapped me back in was the silence which

Indicated I was supposed to have some sort of response to whatever she was talking about

I told my father that story in hopes to get a little sympathy

My father, Civil rights and Vietnam war vet

Hopelessly charming

On his fourth marriage, Father

And rather than the customary nod that men give each other when they understand, he

Proceeded to tell me why He failed as my mothers husband

He said it was the same reason half of his platoon died in Vietnam

And the same reason you are deathly afraid of your daughter becoming a teenager

Son, you can't hear past the explosions, either the ones that already happened or the ones

You anticipate

See the former, paralyzes

Living life in a rear view mirror driving full speed across traffic into the center divider

So shell shocked you too stupid to duck when bullets are flying

Or the latter

Your life a game of capture the flag

So focused on the finish line, you stepped right on a land mine

So ready to attack the day

Frustrated 'cause you can't find your keys

Focused on the meetings you finna miss

And the traffic you finna sit in to realize you been holding your keys the whole time

Slow down

You've been hypnotized by the possibility

Son, I couldn't hear past the bombs

The first one didn't kill me and the second one ain't even happened

Yet it ended our family

He told me a love story

Of a woman born before him

He said but I knew her before and at the moment of conception

There was an eternal connection

And although I didn't know it then, I'd fight for her affection

It's this war we been waging since day one of creation

And only when you lose her do you learn to appreciate her

Like even when I'm with her, I'm itching to get rid of her

And she only gives you one shot, blow it and she's gone

And I took advantage of her

That's why I'm telling you this

Son, you can't rush her or slow her down

You better keep her on your side

She will slip through your fingers

Like sand

Her name is Time

And she told me a secret

She said multitasking is a myth you ain't doin' anything good just everything awful

And she begged me to stop stretching her thin and stuffing her full, and stop being so concerned

With the old her and future her, but love her now

Her presence is God's present, and you should be that, huh, present

So I guess you could say

Well I guess I could say I've been through a divorce now

Me and my phone are no longer married

I think I'm ready to be here now