Rap It Up (Script)

(The episode starts with Mordecai and Rigby watching CrewCrew.)

Alpha-Dog: Alright, so who's next? Who thinks they can take on the legendary CrewCrew?

CrewCrew: CrewCrew! (Big Trouble walks up.)

Alpha Dog: Looks like Big Trouble's back for more.

Rigby: Dude, another battle's about to start!

Mordecai: Ahh, yeauhhh!

Alpha Dog: Man, this dude is back every week.

Big Trouble: Nah, I got y'all fools this time, hit it! (V-Tron turns on the radio.) (Rapping) You all better watch out, cause Big Trouble's on the mic now, i'll knock all o' your lights out, with my verse, y'all be cursed, blowing up like fireworks. Powwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Alpha-Dog: That's it? Blitz Comet, show this fool how we do.

Blitz Comet: (Rapping) Blitz Comet on the scene. You step to me and you gonna get creamed-corn! All up in your teeth, you reek, you're the opposite of chic, ya freak! Your ryhmes are all antiques. Nobody wants em, they throw em all away. Right from the get go like your brain is on delay. Matter of fact yo, you better get a check up. Go ask your doctor, why you be so ugly from the neck UP?

(Crowd cheers and Big Trouble walks away.)

Mordecai and Rigby: OHHHHHHH!!!!

Pops: Excuse me.

Mordecai: What is Pops doing?

Pops: A hug can be a wonderful thing. Two arms wrapped around you like a mother's wing. But we're so selfish when we are blue. Doesn't a hug deserve a hug too? Thank you.

Alpha Dog: Yo, whatcha say? Nah, nah, nah, nah, hold on man.

Blitz Comet: You trying to step to us?

Pops: I'm just so excited to hear some fellow poets. I thought I come join you in the celebration of rhymes.

Alpha-Dog: Nah, nah, nah, nah, you're not celebrating nothin'! Yo V-Tron, turn it up. Yeah, CrewCrew's coming at you. Say it twice, don't forget it. Y'all better catch up to where we're at. You're behind the times. Can't compete with our dope rhymes. So you better say your goodbyes. We got Francois, Blitz Comet, V-Tron, the Jersey kid, on the beats. You know we rock. Then Demel-Ishun, the dopest girl on the mic. And Alpha-Dog, I bark the truth, my verses be all nice and tight. So now you know who were are. CrewCrew is the crew shining brighter than a quazar. But your bizarre. Yes, you sir, are a loser. So cover up that freakish dome and head back home and take your poems. OOOH, loser!

Everyone at the Snack Bar: Loser.

(Pops is about to cry)

Mordecai: Aw dude. Come on! Pops, are you ok?

Pops: While I appreciate their poetic skills, I am not a loser.

Alpha-Dog: (scoffs) You look like a loser to me.

Blitz Comet: Yeah, why don't you take gramps back home before he starts crying some more? [laughs] Loser.

[Crew-Crew laughs, Pops, Mordecai and Rigby walk away]

Mordecai: C'mon, Pops, let's go.

Pops: [shoves Mordecai away] No! [walks up to Alpha Dog] I'll have you know my verses won many a competition!

[Crew-Crew laughs]

Pops: You don't believe me? I challenge you to a competition tonight!

Alpha Dog: You mean a rap battle?

Pops: If that's what you're calling it, then yes.

Alpha Dog: Alright, grandpops. Crew-Crew never backs down! So it's on.

[Crew-Crew walks away]

Francois: You're going down!

Demel-Ishun: You're gonna get yours, buddy!

Mordecai: Alright Pops, we can't let you do this by yourself.

Rigby: Yeah, those guys are gonna walk all over you!

Mordecai: Plus, we know way more stuff about this than you do. So Rigby and I will rap with you in the battle.

Pops: Really!? Our own crew, good show!

[Cut to the house, Mordecai and Rigby are with Pops]

Mordecai: Alright Pops, here's how you battle. Rigby, show him. [makes a beat]

Rigby: Hey Mordecry, oh I mean Mordecai, didn't mean to diss you please don't run away and hide, saw you sobbing at that movie 'A Very Happy Bride', here I'll pass you a tissue, try to have some male pride!

Mordecai: [stops beat] See Pops, it's easy!

Rigby: 'coz the ladies don't like your sensitive side, like Margaret for example but I guess that's implied!

Mordecai: Okay, dude.

Rigby: She won't get with you, she just won't get with you, not gonna get with you, never gonna get with you-

Mordecai: Okay, we get it!

Rigby: I'm just keeping it real.

Mordecai: Now you try Pops.

Pops: But he's just making fun of you!

Mordecai: Exactly! That's what you gotta do! Now give it a shot.

[Rigby starts a beat]

Pops: [struggles] No, I won't do it!

Rigby: What!? C'mon, you said you wanted to win!

Pops: Being negative and hurting someone's feelings is no way to win a competition! The power of poetry lies in expressing the beauty of everything around you!

Rigby: What?

Mordecai: You're not making any sense.

Pops: Come, I'll show you!

[Cut to Mordecai, Rigby and Pops outside. Pops puts a peaceful record on]

Pops: [clears throat] What is this place, this magical field, it's wide and it's open, nothing's concealed. It's sceneic and peaceful for us to enjoy, why this is the park, good show old boy!

Mordecai: Hmhm, not bad!

Rigby: Yeah!

Pops: A place of great beauty for plenty to use, it inspires us all so go spread the news, to man woman and child or begging cowboy, this is the park, good show old boy!

Mordecai: Where's this stuff coming from?

Rigby: Man, he's getting into it! [laughs]

Pops: The key to this place puts a smile on your face, it is the people it does employ!

Pops, Mordecai and Rigby: Why this is the park, good show old boy! [laughs]

[Crew-Crew laughs and walks up]

Blitz Comet: Yo, is he for real with that?

Demel-Ishun: (mockingly) Good show old boy?

Alpha Dog: You're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna beat us tonight. you big headed loser.

Pops: Hmph, go ahead and make snide remarks. Me and my crew are taping into the power of poetry, and the beauty of our verses will be sure to knock your socks off.

[Crew-Crew laugh]

Alpha Dog: See you fools tonight, unless you too afraid to show up.

Pops: We'll be there.

[Crew-Crew walk away]

Alpha Dog: Lo-ser.

Pops: Their rhymes are clever but they don't come from the heart. As long as we're true to ourselves we can't lose. Oh look, ice-cream truck! [runs away]

[Mordecai and Rigby look at each other worriedly. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking into the kitchen where Skips is eating]

Mordecai: Ugh, dude, this is not good! We gotta find a way to back out of the battle.

Rigby: Yeah man, I'm totally with you, those guys are gonna destroy us!

[Enter Pops]

Pops: Mordecai and Rigby, look! I have a surprise for you. [pulls out Elizabethan-style costumes] Tah-dah! I made matching uniforms for tonight!

Mordecai: Pops, we can't do this.

Pops: What do you mean?

Mordecai: Look, we're gonna lose!

Pops: No, the power of poetry will d-

Rigby: Pops, the power of poetry isn't even a thing!

Mordecai: C'mon, Pops, this is dumb. We should just back out.

Pops: Well I don't have that option. Those gentleman called me a loser and I must set them straight.

Mordecai: Yeah, but what if they're right? Uh, I mean-

Pops: (defeatedly) Fine, I'll do it your way. [drops costumes] I'll do it your way! [runs crying and screaming]

Mordecai: Wait, Pops, that's not what we meant!

Pops: [screaming] I'll do it your way!

[Pops exits, door slams]

Mordecai: Shoot.

Rigby: Man, I feel kinda bad.

Mordecai: I know, but Pops just doesn't get it! I mean Skips, you're not all into classical poetry, right?

Skips: [sips soup] Eh, haikus, mostly.

Rigby: Seriously?

Mordecai: Okay, but what're we supposed to do? If we dress up like idiots and go down to recite poetry against that crew, we'll be humiliated!

Rigby: Yeah, losers for life!

Skips: [pushes bowl away] I've lost my appetite. [skips away]

Mordecai and Rigby: (reading the alphabet soup) Mordecai, Rigby. Friends don't let down other friends. You guys are losers.

Mordecai: [sighs] He's right.

Rigby: Man, poetry's powerful stuff.

[Mordecai and Rigby look at the costumes solemnly. A beat starts playing, cut to the rap battle with Alpha Dog against Pops]

Pops: Your attitude is unappealing some would say quite rude. Your shoes are colorful - no! [groans in frustration]

Alpha Dog: C'mon tough guy, why are you tongue tied? Watch out everybody looks like grandpa's about to cry!

[Crew-Crew laughs]

Mordecai: Whether in righteous storms or the rainiest of days-

Pops: Poetry!?

Rigby: -friends stick with friends through thick and thin always.

Pops: Mordecai, Rigby, you came!

Mordecai: We're sorry, Pops, we were acting like fools-

Rigby: -we hope you can forgive us for being complete tools-

Mordecai: -your poems aren't lame, they're really works of art-

Rigby: -if we gotta win this battle we gotta do it from the heart!

Pops: Oh, thank goodness! Your way wasn't working at all!

[Pops, Mordecai and Rigby hug]

Alpha Dog: So what up? Are will battlin' or have y'all smartened up?

[Mordecai gives Pops' record to V-Tron]

Pops: Let's do this! [clicks fingers] '[Record starts playing, lights dim. Crowd murmurs in awe] Beauty's in the center of all that you see, simple yet complex and fully textured. And beauty be apart of all that you be, because you are the best rhymers that I've ever heard!

[Giant blue illusion of Crew-Crew appears, poofs and becomes 'The Best'. Crew-Crew gasp and the crowd murmurs in approval]

Mordecai: Aww yeah, they're into it!

Demel-Ishun: Aw what!? Uh uh, this is real now.

[Pops' record scratches and Crew-Crew's starts playing]

Demel-Ishun: Why you talking 'bout beauty, man, don't understand what's that got to do with you, you fool. You guys are like spoiled hams-

[Rigby turns into a ham with a red glow]

Demel-Ishun: -in a can- [Rigby turns into a can with a red glow] -super bland, expiration date's overdue!

[The crowd jeer, Mordecai and Pops pull Rigby out of the can. Record scratches and Pops' record starts playing again]

Rigby: The canning of meat is quite a sweet treat, so thanks for comparing us so. Your words are inspiring, my dear so concrete, you really put on quite a show!

['The Show' comes out of Rigby's mouth and crush Demel-Ishun. The crowd jeers. Crew-Crew's beat plays, Blitz Comet runs up to Mordecai]

Blitz Comet: Okay, hold up, you wanna talk words and verse, but your face is distracting, so ugly it bugs me, take care of that mess and sweep it under the rug please, so trust me, you're only taking matters from bad to worse, so the only solution is to turn around in reverse.

[Mordecai's head turns around]

Mordecai: A gift to us, a new perspective on things, life looking different from where you stand true? So much to discover so spread your wings and take flight for a birds eye view!

[Blitz Comet sprouts wings and flies away. The crowd cheers]

Alpha Dog: Okay, things be getting serious, you guys are delirious, are you hearing this? Talkin' 'bout positive things, but you ain't got no game, and it's plain to see, you're strange to me 'coz we be shining like diamonds, y'all be petty cash, nice mustache- [Conquistador appears glowing red and pulls at Pops' mustache]-conquistador's been wanting it back, in fact what are you, a rat- [Rigby turns into a rat] -a squirrel- [Rigby turns into a squirrel] -some kinda fat meerkat who thinks he's rad- [Rigby turns into a fat meerkat] -and look at that-[Mordecai begins spewing blue glowing words out of his mouth] -your bird friend's dropping words absurd again, you spit a rhyme that exposes the nerd in him, if you think Alpha Dog is gonna lie down and let you win, your head be all inflated I guess just like a giant blimp. [Pops' head turns into a blimp, crowd cheers wildly]

Mordecai: Okay Pops, you got this!

Rigby: Yeah, you can finish him off!

Pops: It's been some time since I've felt this way, challenged by such worthy opponents. Your rhyme scheme is good but you're missing a few components. You may say things that are hurt or some things that will sting, but for you it's all just posturing. Look inside and be true to some real feelings and the world will be yours I'm assuring you. So I thank you good sirs for this great contest- [Red beam comes out of Pops' chest] -it's certainly been lots of fun, but there's nothing you can say to put me to rest, so really, I've already won. [Beam explodes in Alpha Dog's face, crowd cheers] We did it, we won!

Rigby: We're not losers!

Pops: My, that was exhilarating! Thank you for standing by me, the power of poetry is nothing compared to the power of friendship!

Mordecai: No problem Pops.

Rigby: Yeah-yuh! I'm just glad no-one can call us losers now.

Muscle Man: Hey losers, where'd you get those outfits? My mom's closet? [laughs and high-fives Hi Five Ghost]

Mordecai: We should probably go change clothes.